Crazy life

We have been here for almost 2 weeks now. Things are still pretty crazy. I have no car because we only have one at the moment and Phil takes it to work each day so I am house bound for now. He is trying to work a deal where he trades his 4-wheeler for a vehicle and there may be a very good prospect on Saturday. It will be nice to have 2 vehicles again. Plus we have put a million miles on the the new car so it's time to give it a rest.

In other news, the price of our house dropped $5,000 today. We were told to lower it after 2 weeks and it's been two weeks. In some ways I am relived. I am hoping it will bring in more traffic and fast. If we get asking price at this time we will still owe some money on the house, but not an extravagant amount. I just pray that we don't have to drop the price again...that someone will bite now that it's been lowered. This is my biggest concern at this point. Trying to maintain two homes all while taking a temporary cut in pay because Phil cannot work overtime yet since he does not know how to do much yet. Again, I am not good with the whole wait upon the Lord thing. I am probably one of the least patient people in the world.
It's funny to me how to this point God has provided everything for us. He made this job fall into our laps in this kind of economy and also provided above and beyond what the job was even offering at the time. I know that He will send a buyer for our house it's just hard not to doubt. Why is that? Is there ever a point in your walk where you don't worry about these things and trust whole heartedly? I keep apologizing for my doubts and fears, but if we are being honest then that's what I feel.

In some ways I feel like an insatiable little kid. Thank you daddy for this, but now I need that. But then I think selling the house is all part of this package and He did provide all of this for us so why wouldn't He send a buyer? It's so frustrating to be human :-)

Please keep us in your prayers. We can only pay for both homes for so long before we have to let one go and it's not our intention to ruin credit etc over all this. We simply just want a buyer and if we owe some money so be it as along as we can sell the house.

Emma is back in school now. I kind of feel bad for her. I feel guilty like maybe I made the wrong decision about putting her in school. She came home yesterday and she was crying. She is very overwhelmed and it very well could just be the teacher but it still makes me feel guilty. On greatschools.com her old school rated as a 5 star our of 10. This school is a 7 out of 10 so academically it is better, but at what cost?

She gets on the bus an hour later so this is good. She starts school at 8:50. There are a few things I don't like. 1. there is no snack for the kids. The school is so small that they all eat lunch together at the same time, but only kindergarten gets to have snack. 2. There is no recess, or playtime. They don't have a playground so they can't go out to play. They also have no playtime in school at all. It's one subject after another for 6 hours. Now don't get me wrong they have gym, and art, and music etc. But why so much learning? They are kids. Give them a break. I think they need to enjoy being children. Not to mention coming home with homework a few nights a weeks, plus a spelling test every Friday (she has never had a test before until this school).
Her teacher is nice, but not very clear on what the kids are to do. She sends home papers with no instruction and I am not sure if she wants them back, or what I am to do with them. I guess she is like that in class as well. She just assumes the kids know what to do. Emma is not used to this curriculum and does not know what to do alot of the times and gets frustrated. I don't want her to hate school. At what point do you draw the line and say we are past the normal adjustment phase and make changes? She has only been in school for 4 days and I know it's going to be overwhelming but if something doesn't change in the next few weeks something on our end WILL have to change.

Ethan is doing well. He has adjusted good so far. It's so cute seeing both kids light up when Phil walks through the door at night. Ethan screams and almost passes out he gets so excited. On the other hand it's heartbreaking to see all the time they missed out on. Phil has been traveling for 5 yrs now and unfortunately missed so much. Another reason I am so thankful for this new job and praying that our house will sell soon.
Ethan is in his toddler bed now. He is so cute and so different then Emma. Emma never ever stayed in her bed. We would have to put her back to bed 10-15 times a night. In fact...she still doesn't stay in bed. Last night I said good night and she was up 5 minutes later. haha! WOW they are different. It hasn't even crossed Ethan's mind that he can indeed get up. In fact he lays there in the morning and calls for me because I guess he thinks he can't get up. I think we'll keep it that way! lol! It's been 5 nights now though and he has slept and napped all without getting up. So fingers crossed!

In other news I majorly have the baby bug. Huge, strong desire to have another baby but at the same time afraid. Again the whole house thing, and then my history of loosing babies. It's hard to even say or think about but what if I do loose another. I have been through this twice it's just so nerve wracking and a bit embarrassing at this point. Why does my body keep doing this to me? I will say that we aren't actively trying but we aren't preventing either so whatever God for us will be the right thing. We aren't really telling people either. I know I just said it here, but most of our family don't read this so it's actually a safe place to fess up. After a situation that happened last time when family members took it upon themselves to tell everyone I was prego it will be secret for quite some time this time if God chooses to bless us again. I don't want others telling my news first of all, and secondly I want to be sure all it ok this time around (if I do get pregnant) before I announce it. I was so embarrassed last time when I told everyone and naively thought that everything would be ok because I had already lost one baby. Then I had to go back and tell them yet again that I lost another baby. It was embarrassing (I know it wasn't my fault but that's how I felt) and heartbreaking. I just can't go through that publicly again.

Well I need to get up and do some more unpacking. Just wanted to update since I haven't been on in a while. Please keep us in your prayers for our lives in general but especially for the sale of our house. I have seen God come through in so many situations that have seemed impossible so I know there is hope. It just helps to have people interceding for us.