Ethan's teeth

So here are a few pics of Ethan's gums. No teeth have broken through yet, but to me it seems as if they are right there. It's hard to see in the pics, it's really hard to get a 4 month old to show his gums! LOL! But if you look close you can see the white of the teeth through the gums, and the two little bumps on top.

BTW-Tiffani-I have tried the teething tabs, they worked like a charm on Emma. Ethan on the other hand....it puts him to sleep after a few minutes but after about 20 mins he wakes up screaming again. They don't seem to be very effective on him for whatever reason. More proof of different things for different kids! Thanks for the suggestion though!!!!

Carrots anyone?

Ethan has been eating cereal now for about a week and handles it just fine. I think he is bored with the cereal........Emma was never a fan of Rice cereal either, honestly I don't think I would like it very much myself. So though he is not technically 4 months old but he was born 16 weeks ago so he is 4 months old to me! So I figured I would give carrots a try this week since I know that the orange veggies are easier to digest. Well we did and he seemed to like it! Here is a pic of his confused face....he's not quite sure what to think about it but at the same time he ate a couple of spoons full!

Mom, Does Jesus Live on Mars?

First I want to say that I am very open with my 4 year old. If she asks a question about something I answer her honestly and at a level she can understand giving only the appropriate information needed. I think that being with way with my kids will make things more open and honest between all of us when they become teenagers. Emma knows the correct names to body parts, she has asked where babies come from--obviously because we just had one--and so much more that it's even too much to list here.

Anyway, in her short life she has already had to deal with death and there have been several losses starting with the miscarriage I had last year. This year my in-laws dog got hit by a car and died, and our next door neighbor Mr. Dave...whom we talked to on a regular basis passed away just a month ago from cancer he was only 65. So with my miscarriage it was an easy thing to explain oddly enough. I told her that Jesus had given us this baby but then realized the baby was very very sick so he decided to take the baby out of mommy's belly up to heaven where there is no sickness anymore. That was easy for her to comprehend and she was happy with that answer. She never physically saw the baby, and accepted the fact that it wasn't here anymore. But then Laddie got hit by a car. Now Emma is a huge animal lover. As of right now we have 2 dogs and a cat, and she is always collecting frogs, and ladybugs, and snakes (WHICH I HATE) anything she can get her little hands on. So when we went for a visit at the inlaws and Laddie was not there, she immediately noticed and asked what happened to him. My MIL said that Laddie died and went to heaven. Ok fine. She thought that was a good answer to her question and understood what that meant. Then my MIL asked if we saw Laddie in the yard (he was buried way out back with a little tombstone etc.) I said no, and she said "come on I will show you. Emma then responds "How are we gonna get there?" "Get where, Emma?" "Heaven, Laddie is in heaven how are we gonna get there?" So rather then try to explain it we just left it at that because she got distracted with toys anyway.
So then our neighbor dies a few weeks ago. Phil went to the funeral but I did not because Ethan was cranky and though I am honest about everything with her , I did not know how I felt about her seeing his body laying there in the casket. So we explained to her that Mr. Dave died and that daddy was going to the funeral to see him. Again she asks "Are you going to heaven daddy?" and not putting two and two together yet..thinking she was just afraid that Phil was gonna die he said no. So she asks "then where are you going?' At this point he had to leave so to the best of my ability I explained to her the situation.
So are you ready for my response? I asked her about her frogs, and how when she catches them and leaves them in the house too long how they die. She said yes, they die. Then I said to her that the body of the frog was still here, but the frog was dead. Yes, she understood this as well. So I explained that this is what happens to people. We have a body, and inside of us is a ghost (she did not understand the word spirit). And when we die our body stays here and we bury it in the ground, but our ghost that is essentially us, goes on to heaven where we get a new body. So daddy was going to the funeral just to see Mr. Dave's body, but the ghost that was inside was in heaven and the body is dead. Totally understood all of it and dropped it right there.

Well last night I was putting her to bed, and she said "Mommy does Jesus live on Mars?" And I said no Jesus is in heaven but he made Mars. And she says "oh yah right." She goes on to say that someday she will go to heaven and I told her yes, but not until you are really old. And she said "yes and I will see the baby there (I have not talked about this baby in front of her in over a year), and I will see Laddie, and Mr. Dave. And I said " you sure will." Then she said "I will go to heaven without a body, I wonder what kind of body I will get there?" And I said "maybe a body that looks like an angel" And she said "no I think it will have skin, but I wonder what color I will be...maybe brown, or black." Haha! I said "yes maybe, we'll just have to wait and see when we get there."

It just amazes me how much of a thinker this little girl is. She sits and asks questions and will stop once she is satisfied, but she never settles for the first thing you say. She always prods deeper to try to understand more, and then she comes up with her own theories as well. I honestly am not saying this because she is my own child, but I have never run across a 4 year old who asks such complex questions. Maybe that's because I was never that child's mom and wasn't around to hear these things, or perhaps parents just aren't as open with their children. I get criticized often for how much I actually tell her. Most people wouldn't do into depth about death, but she wanted to know so I did my best to explain it to her in a way she could understand. And she never ceases to amaze me with the things she comes up with! I love her to death, she is certainly one of a kind!

Weary

I am so tired and worn out. I feel like the life is sucked out of me. I am overtired, and overworked(if that makes sense) and just plain old drained! The baby is back into a cranky time. I think he is teething in a major way. Nothing seems to help and he constantly has his hands in his mouth. I swear all 4 teeth are coming in at the same time. I feel so bad for him because he is finally over his digestion issues...he eats and burps normally and was doing great for about 2 weeks, and then the drool began and the incessant hand sucking and fussiness. He lives on Tylenol though it doesn't help him to sleep. It works for about 30 minutes and then he is up and crying again. I know this will pass, and I try to enjoy every stage he goes through because he may be my last baby, but after a while it becomes so draining. And I've had some help, but I've found that people aren't as willing to help out when you have a cranky baby. It weighs on ones nerves very quickly and the responsibility is again handed off to me, because I am the only one who can't just ignore it. I have to deal with it no matter what. THANK GOD FOR MOTHERS HUH? Whoever said being a SAHM mother was easy never did it! haha! Now could I please have some bon bons? LOL!

I feel like I want to sit around and hold a pity party for myself. There are so many issues going on right now, that I really want to sit back and say "oh woe is me". But the truth is...even when I do, do that....I still don't get recognition for it, and that makes me even more mad. Nobody wants to join the party except for me! LOL! But I know that's not how it goes anyway. I will be rewarded someday, it's just hard not to crave that reward here. It seems somewhat unfair to be honest, but that's what faith is all about.
Perhaps my expectations for others are too high. Maybe I am selfish looking for recognition when really I should be doing and giving regardless of all that. It's just nice to be treated as you treat others, and that's never what happens to me.....or at least it seems that way.
I know this is a phase. I am down in one of those Valley's and longing to climb the mountain again, and I know I will get there, its just hard not knowing how long it will last, why I have to be here etc. I know this road isn't supposed to be easy and I am tested constantly in my faith. But the great part is, that tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to do it all right, to make the right choices, to be renewed!


Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people. Galatians 6:9-10 NIV

This past week has flown by for us. Last Sunday my younger brother Adam came to stay with us for the week. He just flew out this evening and my younger sister is coming in tonight and will be here for this coming week! Ashley leaves on Sunday and my sister Jenn comes on Monday and will be here until Saturday! This month is just going to fly by. Unforutunately my brother had a real crappy weather week here. It rained for most of his stay, but finally let up on Sunday so that him and Phil could go to Six Flags right down the road from us. Coke was doing $10 passes to the theme park here in NY after 5 pm at night! Not bad! I however opted out of the activity because of the baby. I didn't feel like dragging him around an amusement park all night!

We had fund together though. It's nice to spend the one on one time with each of my siblings as I am the oldest of us all, and am the only one that lives out of state. I moved out of my parents house when I was 19 which made my brother 8 and my sister 9 and my other sister 16. The little two hardly even remember me living with them.

I am looking forward to this week with Ashley even though it is supposed to rain until Thursday. That's ok though, I guess we will just have to go to the mall! LOL!

So Emma is up to some typical sneaky 4 year old behavior and I think it's hilarious because I always find out what she is doing, but she never quite knows how I know. For instance, she goes into the cabinets often to "sneak" food even after she is told no. She then proceeds to take it upstairs and eat it under her bed. lol! However, she does not throw away or hide the wrappers of whatever she is eating and leaves them spread all over the floor in plain view. So when I find them I know she has obviously eaten something! She has not figured this out yet though.

Today I was watching two little girls because their babysitter fell through. They were all playing up in Emma's room and were in my room playing as well. I had asked them several times not to play in my room, as it's my room and there is no need for it. But they still did even after the warning and how do I know? Did I catch them? NO! my full length mirror was moved from my room to Emma's room.........that's how I knew. So I asked Emma (after the girls left) why she went in my room after I told her no. She said "did you see me?" haha! I said "no, I just know you were in there." To which she replied "yes mommy, I am sorry.....but....did you tell my dad." haha! WOW! What goes through little kid brains? And lets just hope she never fully clears her evidence so that I can always know what she is up to, even when I am not right with her. And she can go on thinking I have super powers! lol! Don't mess with mom.....SHE KNOWS AND SEES EVERYTHING!

Until next time!

And for some reason this won't let me add a title...so this won't have one...haha!