Farm Days

This past weekend we went to a pumpkin/apple farm. Our goal was to go pick apples but that never happened. It was a nice little place, and free to get in which is always nice, but then there was the apple picking. They had this "train" (really a tractor in disguise) that you could ride that took you to the apple orchard for picking. You could not get there any other way so we looked into riding it. It costs $5 per adult and $3 per child, under 2 free! Well at first glance it didn't seem so bad until we started thingking about it. Not only did you have to pay for the ride to the orchard but you also had to pay for the apples. So it would end up being $13 for the ride, and then it was $4 for the smallest (and boy do I mean small) bag of apples! $17 for about 6 apples are you kidding me! NO WAY! So needless to say we did not pick apples that day, but we did enjoy all the other free activities there. So Emma played at the playground, ran through the hay maze, and fed the animals at the petting zoo. We discovered that Ethan does not like goats! He was so cute sitting in his stroller watching them. He had this "I don't like this" look on his face. Then they got closer to him (behind a fence by the way...they couldn't really get him) and he started crying! Poor baby! It was kind of funny though. His little brain doesn't understand that they couldn't get him. Something us adults, just take for granted. We see the fence and know they can't get out, Ethan on the other hand FREAKED!

Then we ended the day by enjoying some yummy ice cream! Ethan again freaked out cause he wanted some! He really is like an 8 year old trapped in his little baby body! He really knew we were eating and that he'd like to try some. He kept reaching for mine and screaching to get some. He even tried his sign for milk, and sticking his tongue out --his way to say "I'm hungry". I just thought that was so smart of him. So I had to tell him no all too many times as he grabbed my bowl of ice cream and tried to eat it!

I will try to load pics, but I am having a hard time lately doing that. It times out before they load! So frustrating.

Accomplished

I have gotten so much done today and it's only 9:00 am! Last night my sink was emptied and the dishwasher was loaded but I didn't have enough to actually run it so I left it for this morning. The baby went to bed at 7:00 pm and Emma followed shortly after. I was exhausted and was asleep myself, at 8:00 pm. Much to my surpise the baby slept all night and did not get up until 5:45 am. Since I had such a good night's sleep this wasn't a big deal. I got up, fed him, changed him, and then exercised for a half hour. By the time I was done Phil was up and in the shower so I made Eggs for breakfast, ate, got Emma up fed her, hopped in the shower, got everyone dressed, and ready to go to school. Dropped off Emma, went to get gas, and now I am home! Phew! Now I can load up the dishes from this morning, and run the dishwasher and have some quiet time before getting Emma. Oh yah and the baby is sleeping! It's nice to have mornings that run smoothly. It feels like things are in control.....no stress at all. Somewhat thanks to Flylady!

Self examination

I have realized lately that there are many disappointments in life. So many times we have expectations of people, things, life, and we are let down. We often base our happiness on others. We look for acceptance, praise, love, security, loyalty, and appreciation from those around us. If we don't receive these things, it seems our life spins out of control and we get down in the dumps, and down on our self. We have pity parties, and say "oh Lord why me?" As I was having one of these moments, that small voice spoke to me and said "you are trusting too much on man who, like you, is imperfect." How true is that? No one is perfect, not even me. I screw up royally sometimes, actually more often than I'd like to admit. I'm not perfect and I never will be. So why expect other people to be that for me? I hold others with such high standards when I myself can't even live up to these. I resent people for not having some of the qualities I have...."well I am this way and that's easy so why can't they be that way as well?" But you know what, they won't be that way. Because I am me, and they are themselves and we are different. That's what makes us unique. That's what makes things work. We all have strengths and abilities in areas that others do not and that's our special gift.

One of my weaknesses is worry. I am a doomsdayer. The smallest things overwhelm me and for some reason I can only see negative from a situation. Who wants to be around that? I am insecure and negativity stems from that as well. The feeling as if I will never measure up and always seeking the approval of others to keep me "happy." How self centered? How vain? That voice is right! Why am I trusting so much in man? It only bring heartbreak. I need to take the log out of my eye and stop looking at the specs in others eyes. I need only to trust in the one thing that is perfect and will never let me down....GOD! Instead of trusting in the imperfect and concentrating on the flaws, I need to change my priorities and change myself.

5 This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:5-8

GRRRRR

Well everyone Phil shot a 200 lb (at least) black bear last night! That's my hunter! He seems to get something every time he goes hunting. For those of you who don't know he hunts whitetail deer every year at Thanksgiving, and every year he gets something. Nothing with a huge rack yet, but it's still meat for the freezer. This bear, though I am happy he was able to shoot one, I am not thrilled about having it mounted and hung up somewhere in our house! UGH! I hate dead animals in the house!

He went hunting with my brother-in-law and now he obviously really wants to get one so since they drove together they will not be coming home today! :( He (my BIL) is going hunting again tonight (for some reason you hunt bear after 2 o'clock in the afternoon) and then I think they are driving back to Massachusetts tomorrow and then Phil will come home tomorrow or Saturday.

I know one thing...I really don't want to eat bear meat. I don't mind living in the country, but I have to draw the line somewhere! LOL!

Simple Things

I had one of those moments today, where you feel like you are out of your body looking down on everything....you know those little moments that you wish you could live in and freeze forever.

It was nothing monumental just a sweet little moment between where my kids were interacting together. Emma was sitting on the floor playing with her Little People and Ethan was squealing to get down and play. I gave in to his requests and laid him on the floor next to Emma and they played together. Yah, yah I know he can't really "play" but they were just so sweet sitting/laying there together. Emma was showing Ethan all the Little People and explaining what went where in the Farm and what animal was what, and Ethan just oohed and ahhed at the whole thing.

I am loving the age that Ethan is at and those little giggles and chubby little cheeks....I am going to miss that stage. And though I know it seems silly to mourn "the past" when it hasn't past yet, I know how quickly it goes by. It was just yesterday that Emma was that little and I miss that. I wanted so much for her to grow up and get to the next phase that I missed so much of her present. I am thankful that I learned my lesson and I can now sit back and take pleasure in them just playing, or just laughing, or just being them.

I love the little moments! I love them! And most of all I love seeing Phil having one of those moments! It's so wonderful just to sit back and stand in awe of the beautiful little people that were given to us.

This is SO great.....

I copied this from one of my friends site, but I cried when I read it....it is so true......

I'm Invisible.

Author unknown

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,

the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and

ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the

phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or

sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?

Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of

hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is

it?"

I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?"

I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the

eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -

but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going.... she's going ... she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a

friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous

trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard

not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean.

My unwashed hair was pulled up in a clip and I was afraid I could

actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice

turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you

this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly

sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with

admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would

discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after

which I could pattern my work:

1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record

of their names.

(2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never

see finished.

(3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

(4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the

eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit

the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving

a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the

man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam

that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the

workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you

make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness

you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is

too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great

cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a

disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my

own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As

one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see

finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The

writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could

ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing

to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend

he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in

the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a

turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table."

That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just

want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to

say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if

we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world

will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that

has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

It's raining, it's POURING!

So we are still sick here. Emma is doing better thank God, but Ethan is now not feeling well. It's to be expected though. It always goes through the house pretty quickly. Unfortunately I have it as well, and can't seem to shake it. It has settled in my chest now and I can't shake this 101 degree temperature. I really hope that I feeling better tomorrow. It's very aggravating because I have no help at the moment since my hubby is enjoying his 30th birthday present! He been in Maine since Saturday bear hunting and will not be back until sometime on Thursday. I am so happy for him because he is able to go 4-wheeling and hunting which he enjoys so much and it's a much needed break for him. I am glad he got away to relax from work and the real world. Unfortunately, I am still here living in it and things always seem to go wrong when I am alone. Why is that? It always seems that when you are the most vulnerable things seem to keep going wrong. As if being alone with 2 kids for a week doesn't have enough challenges add in the fact that we were/are still sick and it makes for a rotten week. Emma can't wait for Phil to get back because I have been boring, lazy mommy laying on the couch all day. I feel bad but I just have not energy at all. I think if I just had the cough it would be one thing but the fever really knocks you out.

I am a little down lately. There are so many things I am worried about and I am not sure what the outcome will be. It's sometimes really hard to have faith for the simple things. I have to trust that this will all come to a head soon, and things will be fine. I need to drill these verses in my head:

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Matthew 6:25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Matthew 6:27 "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

Luke 10:41 But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things;

Luke 12:22 And He said to His disciples, "For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.

Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.


Hopefully I can get to a place where I really have faith in all this. It just seems like when it rains, it pours? What happened to the little trials that were simple to overcome...why does it feel like everything is dumped on me all at once? Well the word says that "He does not give us anymore than we can handle." so obviously I will handle it, I am just hoping for relief sooner than later!

Sorry for the depressing tone....I don't mean to be a bummer, it's just what's going on at this point in time!

Sick Day

I hate this time of year! Everyone of us is sick! It started with Emma and it was so weird cause I could see it coming on right before my eyes. It was Wednesday and she was feeling fine. She went to school came home, went to dance class and we sat down to have dinner. When dinner began she was normal old Emma, but by the time we cleared our plates she was snuffy(as she says) and coughing and had a belly ache. Thursday was her worst day, and she is now getting over it Thank God! But now I have it. I got it last night so I am really hoping that today is my worst day. And worst of all Ethan has just gotten it tonight. Thankfully so far, he is not acting sick but we will see what tomorrow brings. I just hope that I am feeling better so that I can tend to him more easily.

I HATE BEING SICK, AND EVEN WORSE...I HATE SEEING MY KIDS SICK! BLAH!

School

I am having trouble uploading these pics!!!

First Day of school!

2 posts today...I wanted Emma to have her own! LOL!

Today was Emma's first day of school! She is so excited to go back this year. She was taken aback a little bit because only a handful of kids are the same from last year. Her best friend Andrea made the cutoff date and went to kindergarten this year so she was really bummed about that. She said she really wants to go to the big school. But she was happy to see Emily and Gage, and lots of new faces! School officially starts Friday so we will see how it goes when I have to leave her, but instinct tells me that she will do just fine! She did well today and I just brought her in got her settled and then backed off so that she could do her thing.....and she did.

I will post some pics of the day a little later!!!

5 months

My big guy is 5 months old today! Boy has the time flown by and quite honestly I am glad the first few months are over. The first 3 months were rough and he definitely had colic. On one hand I am sad that he had to suffer so long with it, but on the other I am so glad that it was colic and not a "bad' baby. Thankfully we are over the rough part and he is a totally different baby now. He's so happy and it's so great to see.

So for milestones. He rolls around the whole living now front to back and back to front. He is still working on those darn teeth! They are taking forever to come in but I think I remember that with Emma. He can also pull his legs underneath him but he is not coordinated enough to get up on all fours. I am thinking he will crawl earlier then Emma did, but hey I could be wrong. I also thought his teeth would be in soon! haha!

We go back in one month for another check up so it will be exciting to see if he is still in the 85% for everything.