Self examination

I have realized lately that there are many disappointments in life. So many times we have expectations of people, things, life, and we are let down. We often base our happiness on others. We look for acceptance, praise, love, security, loyalty, and appreciation from those around us. If we don't receive these things, it seems our life spins out of control and we get down in the dumps, and down on our self. We have pity parties, and say "oh Lord why me?" As I was having one of these moments, that small voice spoke to me and said "you are trusting too much on man who, like you, is imperfect." How true is that? No one is perfect, not even me. I screw up royally sometimes, actually more often than I'd like to admit. I'm not perfect and I never will be. So why expect other people to be that for me? I hold others with such high standards when I myself can't even live up to these. I resent people for not having some of the qualities I have...."well I am this way and that's easy so why can't they be that way as well?" But you know what, they won't be that way. Because I am me, and they are themselves and we are different. That's what makes us unique. That's what makes things work. We all have strengths and abilities in areas that others do not and that's our special gift.

One of my weaknesses is worry. I am a doomsdayer. The smallest things overwhelm me and for some reason I can only see negative from a situation. Who wants to be around that? I am insecure and negativity stems from that as well. The feeling as if I will never measure up and always seeking the approval of others to keep me "happy." How self centered? How vain? That voice is right! Why am I trusting so much in man? It only bring heartbreak. I need to take the log out of my eye and stop looking at the specs in others eyes. I need only to trust in the one thing that is perfect and will never let me down....GOD! Instead of trusting in the imperfect and concentrating on the flaws, I need to change my priorities and change myself.

5 This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:5-8