Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

3 more days....

We leave for Florida on Thursday. I am so excited. I really can't believe that it's here. Seemed like we planned this trip a long time ago, and now, at the end of this week we will be soaking up the rays in Florida. I can't wait.

I have lots to finish up this week. I need to finish the packing and cleaning, I need to put a hold on our mail, and I need to try to come up with things that will keep my son occupied on a 3 hour plane ride.

I cannot wait to go. All of us are looking forward to a much needed vacation. It will be an odd feeling to have a "warm" Christmas. Living here in western NY we usually have a white Christmas....actually the white tends to fall once or twice as early as October!!!

Last time we went to Florida (7 yrs ago) we came home with a little surprise (Emma). It will be interesting to see if that happens again!! If it does, it will probably be another 7 yrs before we get back there!

I don't know, I guess I really don't have a whole lot to blog about. I am just really happy, and that's new for me. I haven't been happy or excited about anything in quite a few months. I am so blessed and grateful that we are able to do this. Emma is very excited and that just brings lots of joy for us. She is one that doesn't show her emotions (unless it's anger) very often and she was truly excited and overjoyed about this trip. We haven't had a family vacation in a while so this will be great.

Well it seems as if I keep repeating myself so I guess I will go. I just want to touch base with you all before we head out. I am not sure if I will be blogging before or during our vacation so I thought I would take advantage of this time this morning.

And if I don't check in...I hope that everyone has a great Christmas!!!

Wax on, wax off

I am not sure who cares about this but I just wanted to say that there is truth to the time of the month and how much pain you feel, theory. I have waxed in the past and things were peachy. Not that is wasn't painful, but it wasn't unbearable. Today I had to do it again, since we are leaving in a week and I resemble an ape. The difference...I am 4 days into my new cycle. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! OUCH! But since I had started, I needed to finish...and again the whole ape thing. So I did.....YOWZA! Just head this warning. If you can put it off a few days then do so...you'll thank me for it.

What are the odds?

I'm a little bummed. When I discovered I was pregnant last time I had ordered a subscription to Fit Pregnancy Magazine. Well as we all know the baby is gone, but the magazine keeps on coming. At this point it doesn't bother me that I get them, I actually enjoy reading them. I think it is because I know now that it's all over with and I can try again if I want to.
Anyway, there was an article in there about miscarriage. It said that the average women has a 2% chance of having a miscarriage. I somehow, find this hard to believe. How is that possible when so many women I know have had them? It also gave stats on your chances of having one if you had one before. Me, having lost 2 children has a 28% chance of miscarrying the next time around. I don't like those odds at all. Not that this will deter my efforts but it doesn't give me warm fuzzies!

So really if the odds are that slim, I am either really lucky or really unlucky. If it's lucky then I should go buy myself a lottery ticket.

I know many of us could use this right now.

Matthew 7:24-25, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” (NIV)

I stole this from a someone I know

61 words

Typingtest

I beat my score! Woo Hoo!

66 words

Speed test

Breaking the rules

I know it's wordless Wednesday and all but I feel like talking....so...forgive me :)

I have been feeling pretty crappy since Monday. I have a head cold and it's making me feel tired and overall pretty gross. I guess that if I had to get this, now is a good time since we leave next week for Disney.

Yesterday I had to go food shopping. Normally if I don't feel good, I don't go food shopping. However, I have not bee food shopping since before Thanksgiving so it was time.
Ethan and I bundled up and headed out to super Wal-mart. Ethan is well trained now and he knows that at the bakery and deli they give nice little treats. He asks (and when I say ask, I mean grunts) to go over to that section to get him a snack. Generally we do this last so that he will be occupied while I am checking out. Yesterday was no different. The deli was last. Ethan saw yummy little samples of cheese so I decided to give him a piece as I finished my deli order. UNTIL.....Ethan decided to shove the whole chunk of cheese in his mouth. Little children can not do this. Cheddar cheese is thick.....very thick. So thick he began to gag. Thinking I had things under control I placed the little cup it came in under his chin and said "spit it out" all while he is dry heaving. And then it happened.....my cute little boy listened.....boy did he spit it out....along with some milk, and whatever else he ate before we left the house. Let me tell ya, the little cup I had runneth over! It runneth down his coat, on the cart, on the floor. You name it, it runneth. How embarrassing! How disgusting! There is nothing worse then cleaning up puke when you don't feel well. To top it off I don't handle puke well. Generally if there is puke there will be more if I see it. I was actually excited about the notion of not having to clean it. Hey, that's what they have the janitors for right? WRONG! Not only did I clean the baby up, I had to get on my hands and knees and clean the floor. GROSS! Fortunately, the nice deli lady brought me paper towels and a bucket of warm water to take care of the situation. Now that I think about that it's quite humorous. She brings me a bucket, and paper towels but doesn't call anyone to help clean it. Hmmm. Well anyway I am glad she did that much. After all that we headed off to pay and me and pukey boy headed home. It was quite the adventure.

Also today Phil and I were discussing how much Ethan talks already. Not perfectly, but he does say a lot of words. The new ones today were when he woke up from his nap and pointed to his clothing and named the animal "bear". He then picked up his little blanket and said "pane" meaning plane. So cool. I wanted to list all that he can say here just for my personal reference.

He just turned 20 months last week, and he says:
daddy
mama
Emma
Nonnie (Emma)
doggie
Gracie(my dog)
Haley (my dog)
Lanna(my SIL)
baby
plane
bear
uh oh
no
stinky
dirty
milk
banana
please
thanks
come (means welcome)
kitty
ear
eye
nose
belly
night
bye
hi
hello
pee pee
truck
car
pat pat (from the little einsteins show)
beep beep
go
more
up
mine (he just learned this one)
ball
bubble
pumpkin
....that's all I can think of now. That's 41 words. That amazes me. So he is says somewhere between 41 and 50 words. I don't know how many words Emma said at this age. This will be a good reference to look back on if/when we add to our family!

Now I am exhausted and need to get some sleep. Hopefully I will kill this head cold while I am at it. ;)

Wordless Wednesday

Santa Baby

Insomnia

I can't sleep today. We went to bed at 9:30 last night because Phil had to get up at 4am to leave for the airport. The only problem is I couldn't go back to sleep like I usually do. My mind is racing today. I have a lot to do today, and my mind is beginning to mentally "pack" for our trip next week. To top it all off I have major cramping this cycle. It is starting to subside now but it didn't help my sleeping situation. I totally understand why AF is called "the curse". UGH! I am also getting some sort of cold and that really pisses me off. Better now then next week, but it is just making me feel even more tired....and again I can't sleep. Hopefully I will be able to go to bed early tonight.

My dad called yesterday and asked us to finish up some work in the house he bought in Florida. He is paying us to do it which is very kind. We will try to get as much done in one day as possible because we do want to be able to enjoy our time there as well.

The list includes:

1.Grouting a 10x10 room, and filling in any grout that is missing throughout the house.

2. Installing a closet door.

3. Repairing a whole in the bathroom ceiling (the patch is already cut it just needs to be hung, taped, and mudded.)and then installing the vent fan.

4. Painting the kitchen---only problem....there is already wallpaper up.

5. Installing door stops

6. Putting all the caps on the outdoor drainage spouts.

Hopefully we will be able to do all of it for him. Also I would be lying if I said that it wouldn't be nice to have the extra $$$.

I got a great deal on some suitcases for the kids. We don't have suitcases and I was hoping to get each child their very own Disney suitcase to bring with them. BUT, they were so expensive. The cheapest ones I could find were $34.50 each and they were at the Disney store. Well yesterday I was looking around and decided I would check out the Disney store one last time. When I clicked on the site, I saw that the luggage had gone on sale. They were also offering a promotional code for 1/2 off the lowest retail of their luggage! AWESOME! I got both kids their very own suitcase for less than the price of one! I was so happy!!! So Emma is getting a tinkerbell suitcase and Ethan is getting one that looks just like Lightning McQueen. So cute! Now hopefully they arrive before next Wednesday.

I am supposed to go to MOPS today, but I really don't feel like I want to go. It's just the Christmas party so I am not missing much. Part of me wants to go, but the other part is just so overwhelmed with what I have to do....plus I don't feel good.

Oh yah, and I have to drive Emma to school today because they are having breakfast with Santa and she really wants to go. It's from 7:45-8:10 which is really dumb because if you take the bus, you don't arrive until 8:10! Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing this at all. It's just that these events always seem to fall on the most inconvenient days.

WOAH! I have the weather on in the background and they said 50 degrees for Saturday and 57 for Sunday......woo hoo. A little taste of Florida before we go :)

So enough rambling from me for now. I have killed 45 mins typing all of this. I need to go make my food shopping list now!

New Cycle

I was all messed up this time. It had my head playing tricks on me.

Make an ovulation ticker

Prayer for the man in your life

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN

Captured forever.

I feel good today. I woke up and all of life seemed right today. Things went smoothly this morning, no one was grouchy, everybody listened...over all the day got off to a good start.

Ethan and I just read some books. We have a lift the flap book and behind the flap it says "peekaboo". I read the page, opened the flap and said "peekaboo." Much to my surprise Ethan repeated me in his sweet baby voice "peekaboo." I didn't know he could say peekaboo.
I was all nostalgic last night when I was looking at baby pics of my daughter. It wasn't that long ago where she was the one trying to put words together. I decided to pull out my video camera and capture Ethan's little words forever. It's funny how we forget the little things. Things we swear we will never forget. Then I look back at some pic, or some video and realize....wow...I have forgotten some of this stuff. I am thankful for the days I decide to pull out the video camera with no goal. You can capture the sweetest memories from something that seems so mundane in your day to day life. I know how quickly these years go by. It seems like just yesterday that Emma was saying "pane" for plane. Now she is reading the word plane!
So, on Ethan's 20 month birthday I have captured sweet little words from his chubby little baby face. Words like "bye, hi, nonnie(this is what he calls emma), and peekaboo." I captured him showing me all his little body parts...."Ethan where's your ear, nose, mouth, head, belly and legs?" Pretty soon he will take for granted where each of these things are placed.
I don't know why I am so emotional today. Each day can seem like an eternity sometimes, but when you sit and look back you wonder where time has gone.
So I urge you to take pictures of your children today. Break out the video camera and capture any old thing that they are doing right now. You will be so happy you did 5 years from now.

Ok enough emotion. I have to go rescue the dog as Ethan is tormenting her right now!

Moody momma

Today has been a moody day. It all started last night at 2:30 am. I was dreaming that the baby was crying and needed me, and just as I was dreaming that my lab; Haley; started barking uncontrollably over something she heard outside. Needless to say it wasn't a very pleasant awakening. I flew out of bed my heart racing, feeling like I needed to rescue my children.....it was very odd and very scary. I never saw anything in the house or outside, so I am guessing we got all worked up over a rabbit or a deer!

I did not want to get up this morning. But I had to....I am the mom afterall. I was pleasantly surprised when Emma woke up a half hour before the alarm and came down dressed for school. This was a very good thing. But then I did not act so good towards her afterwards. I was cranky, had lack of sleep and it doesn't excuse me being bitchy but those are the facts. I was short, and snappy with her and I feel really bad about it now. Hopefully I will be able to make it up to her once she gets home.

Ethan was overtired all day. He has been clingy and whiny all morning. He went down for his nap 1/2 hour early....which means my time alone is nearing an end. Why is it that the 3 hours that they sleep goes by so quickly? I never understood that.

I am lazy this whole week. I worked my tail off last week for Thanksgiving and I don't feel like lifting a finger. I know this isn't right though and if I don't get on the ball I will be causing myself more stress tomorrow when I am scrambling around trying to get things done before Phil gets home.

Also I have major issues with Ethan and brushing his teeth...it's bordering on ridiculous. We had no problems a few months back. He let me shine up those pearly white. But these days, those pearly whites have turned to scummy yellow. If I let him brush his own teeth he doesn't do a good job at all. If I try he screams at the top of his lungs, locks his mouth shut, and fights with all he has. I don't understand it at all. In order for me to brush them I literally have to hold him down, pry his mouth open and brush as much as I can in 5 seconds before he gets loose. I am loosing my mind, but I can't let his teeth go to hell. So what do I do? I don't want this to be an unpleasant thing for him, but it is a necessary evil. I am sure it's just a power struggle, he wants to be in control and do it himself.
So if anyone as any suggestions I am SO open for advice.

Snowball?

Here is a picture of Gracie after coming in from outside this morning.
We keep her fur long in the winter so she doesn't get too cold...but then we have to deal with cling on snow balls. I could not get her to defrost, so I ended up giving her a bath!

If you don't notice the snow...look closely at her legs.

Wordless Wednesday

Thanksgiving countdown

i am exhausted. I went to bed at midnight last night and woke up at 5 this morning and have been going ever since. Ethan and I went food shopping and got the last minute items. Then I came home and made spaghetti sauce because we are having home made pizza and wings when everyone arrives on Wednesday. I had double use for the sauce because I wanted to make a lasagna while they were here. But I did not want to have to cook it while they were here. So, I made it today and cooked it. Now all I have to do is pop it in the over to heat it on Friday.

Then it was Apple Pie making time. I made that then decided to make my Cheesecake. I planned on doing a lot of the cooking tomorrow, but I have MOPS and then I just got a note home today saying they are having Thanksgiving feast tomorrow and parents are invited so I have to go check that out. I wouldn't miss that for anything. So right after MOPS we will be at the school...which is causing some stress on my part because I know that Ethan will be cranky....it is his nap time during her lunch time. UGH! Oh well! Hopefully I can be there for Emma and then sneak off early enough to get Ethan into bed.

So here are pictures of all my tasty treats. I love cooking...I just need a maid to clean up after me...because I am not so good in the cleaning dept. Anyway, I am exhausted and need to go to bed.

Oh yah and I am seriously considering cutting out sugar once Thanksgiving is over. I am so addicted to it....it's ridiculous. No wonder I am fat!

Handy Ethan

This is so cute and I think so smart that I had to post pics to remember this.

We have a hutch in our kitchen that I keep toys in for Ethan. All his trucks and tools are in there. Our kitchen floor is all tile. It's very cold these days, even though our house is a toasty 71 degrees. Ethan likes to sit in front of the hutch playing trucks, but its getting colder and colder on that floor with each passing day. So, my genius son figured out that if he took the rug from where I stand at the sink and moved it to the hutch, he could sit on it and play toys all at the same time.

No one taught him this.

Also as you can see he has a screwdriver in this pic. He took it and lined it up with the screws on the hutch and began to twist the screwdriver as if her were fixing it! So cute!!!

Our afternoon documented in photo by emma

Call me crazy.....

....I just have this strange feeling that I am going to get pregnant this month. I could be way off...but I just have this nagging feeling. Of course it could just be wishful thinking!

Wordless Wednesday

I am stealing this from other people. I thought it was cool though. You upload pics on Wednesdays. For those of you who don't know that's me and my mom.

Encouraging Word

Wednesday 11/19/2008

"I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to Him, and He answered my prayer."

~ Psalm 120:1, NLT

I am telling you people...it's always spot on! Amazing! And trust me, me and God had a nice little talk about the situation last night. I have no doubt something will come our way! God is good.

Crash and burn

Phil has been out of the Navy for almost 3 years now. He has been traveling since the day we got married only because he was in the Navy. Can I just say that this job he has now is getting old.

2 weeks ago was awful. Phil was upset all the time, he was moody (and in turn so was I) he was stressed.

Then last week he had the week off. By the end of last week, we were really enjoying our time together. It was nice having him here. Things seemed to calm down. The swearing even stopped.

Then yesterday it was back to work. Things seemed to be ok. I drove him to the airport we said goodbye and off her went. He called me when he landed, as usual and he had that all to familiar tone in his voice. He was frazzled and he had only been back to work for a few hours.

I am worried. Worried about him. A person can only take so much. He has been doing this for 3 years now and he has just about had enough. Especially now since our house did not sell and he works out there constantly. He is guaranteed to be gone Monday through Friday. I know God has us here for a reason...in this state/house/town etc. The doors opened so easily to buying this house it was just meant to be. Not to mention that we didn't even get one offer on the house when we had it on the market. We are supposed to be here...I don't doubt that. The problem is the job. He needs a new job desperately...this one will kill him if not.

I never realized how stressed I was living out here without him. Though having him here causes some pains at first (I have to admit I like doing things the way I want to) but overall it is a much better situation.

Right now he spends 208 days a year in a hotel...away from us. 780 meals in a year are eaten out at restaurants. This is bad cause he has high cholesterol and thyroid disease...not good for his health at all. Nevermind the raised blood pressure from all the stress because things are majorly screwed up there.

Anyway, I said all that to say that there is a job posted online that is about 20 minutes from our home. There is still travel involved but the most you would travel is 3 months out of a year. It's a great company with great benefits and it would be doing something Phil is very interested in. I just wanted to ask for you all to pray that if this is meant to be he will get the job. There is a lot that has to go right. This company is very hard to get into, and we need to make close to what we make now for money at least until we are out of debt.
That is the biggest problem. He has had other job offers out here, but the starting pay is less than half of what he is making now. I understand having to take a pay cut and it would be worth it to have him here more, but we cannot loose more than half our salary right now. Especially since we bought a work truck for him to use with understanding that the company would give us a car allowance. If he leaves...we still have the truck and the payment...but no allowance. That is a problem. So I am just asking for prayers. We both know that we can't live like this for much longer and we need God to provide for us here in a major way. So if you think of it...say a little prayer for us. If it's meant to be...all will be taken care of. If not then there is something better out there.

Thanks! Now I am off to chop my hair and wax the eyebrows! YIPPEE!

Catch up time

I have been on the pitty pot for the past few posts and wanted to get away from that and tell you about the kids and what's been going on here.

Last week I have Emma's first parent teacher conference. Let me tell you, going there made me feel like I am doing something right. Emma is doing fabulous in school. Academically she is one of the tops kids in the class. She is in the highest reading group, and scored well above average on both of the screening tests that she had. She had to name as many letters as she could in 60 seconds, and she was able to name 44 out of the 52. She also was able to identify all the sounds to the letters! Very, very proud.

Best of all her teacher said she is very compassionate and caring. There are some kids with special needs in her class and she does not discriminate against them at all. She is also willing to help out those who are finding kindergarten a bit challenging. She will sit and help them with their work. She is also very forgiving, which she gets from Phil. Her teacher said no matter what anyone does to her she always wishing them a good night at the end of the day. It makes me want to cry. I have drilled this stuff in her head for years now, and we don't always see the fruit of our labor here at home. It's nice to know that she is going to have great character.
Now I know that academics is important and I do want her to be smart, but most of all I think that I want her to be a good person. What good are brains, if you are not a caring person?

So what else can I say other than I am very proud of her and I was beaming from ear to ear after that review.

And now from something that took me aback a bit. Her love affair with an older boy named Jamie! He lives on our street so they ride the bus together. I have never met the boy or his parents, but Emma was intrigued by the boy with the "orange hair"! Now this is all she talks about. Jamie this and Jamie that. I wonder what Jamie is doing etc. etc. Should I be worried here? HELLO! The child is in kindergarten! Do kids have real crushes at 5 yrs old? I don't know what to do. I feel like I am dealing with a teenager already. And to top it all off, Jamie is in 3rd grade! I have no problems with an older man...I mean technically this probably means they are about equal in maturity (nothing against boys it's just proven that it takes longer for them to mature). My problem is the obsession with a BOY at such a young age. What to do...what to do.

Now for my son. Nothing new on that front except I could just eat him up! Don't get me wrong I love my daughter to death. I was so happy to have a little girl and still am. But Ethan is different. I don't know how to explain it. Not that I love him anymore then Emma, it's just a different love. There are no words to describe it. It's just amazing. The other part is his personality. He is very lovey, dovey. Emma was never one to cuddle. She gives the BEST hugs but she doesn't linger! haha! Ethan on the other hand will come over, asked to be picked up and just sit on my lap resting his head on my chest. Last night he asked for just that. So I picked him up he laid his head down and let out a big "ahhhhhhh". It's like all the world was right resting on my boob! haha! And btw, I really think he is a boob man already. What is it with boys (of all ages)and boobs! LOL! NO really!
I am the only one he will kiss too. Phil gets jealous because Ethan won't kiss him. I am not really sure why he won't, and on one hand I am sad he doesn't (I am sure that will change) and on the other it makes me happy. I love that for some reason he only gives his mommy kisses.

Don't get me wrong....he is a major daddy's boy, but when it comes down to it he still needs his mommy. I feel like right now Emma doesn't need me very much. I think that's what it boils down to. Not that she doesn't love me...I know she does. She is just in a phase now where she needs her daddy more. Daddy is the light of her world. And to Ethan I am his. I missed that, and I am glad I am recognizing it this time around and cherishing it while I have it. Because before I know it the tide will change and he will be all Phil's!

We are preparing for Thanksgiving and phil's family next week! I am so excited I can't wait! It will be 5 days, and 6 adults and 5 kids all in one house! Chaos but I love it. I thrive in that environment. I love having family all around, I wish we could do it more often.

That's all from us lately! I hope all is well with everyone else! Until next time....

My Cycle...not that anyone cares..but it's more for me.

Make an ovulation ticker

When will it end.

I am telling you I am near my breaking point. I have had headaches for 4 days straight. I am stressed to the max and it is oozing out every pore of my body onto all those around me. I don't know why I get so stressed out by stuff. It's just 'stuff'. It just seems like one thing after another is breaking and we need more money to fix 'stuff'. Sometimes I think life would be so much more peaceful and manageable if I were Amish. :) The newest thing added to the list is a blower fan for our wood stove. It broke yesterday. It's only two years old and it's shot. This little fan...just a little thing..but BIG in purpose. Without it...the heat would not be dispersed throughout the house. I have called to get some pricing and it looks like it's going to cost about $200 for this little piece of equipment. WHY?

I just feel like nothing is going right lately. I have had a few good days thrown into the mix...when I can see the other side and then WHAM! I am knocked down again.

I was brought to tears this morning cause Ethan pooped right as I was walking out the door. Normally this isn't a big deal, but it's just one more thing. Why can't ONE thing, just ONE thing go smoothly for us? It's been one attack after another since August...and I really don't know how much more I can take.

I am a witch....majorly..and I don't want to take it out on my family. It seems like I am always in a bad mood. Emma asked me today if I was mad, and I said no, and she responded..."then why are your eyebrows down."

God help me.

Don't judge me...you do it too!

This is what kids do, when you spend the whole morning on the computer when you should be playing with them.

God is always speaking to me.

Remember how I said before that whenever I go through something I wake up and find just the right Bible verse sitting in my inbox? All of the siblings in my family have been arguing for the past couple of days of something so stupid. This things spun out of control and it is absolutely ridiculous. I wake up log onto Myspace and what is the Bible verse that appears?

It is to a mans honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Proverbs 20:3

Please pray

Please keep in your prayers this family they live just a couple of towns over from me.

Robert is an active duty Staff Sergeant in the U.S. Army and was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer one year ago. They have 3 daughters: Lilia (5 years old), Skyler(2), and Morgan (1).

Here is a journal entry of his:

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2008 05:45 PM, CDT

Dear Friends and Family,

First I want to thank all of you for your prayers this past week. Praise God, we got through it and are stronger for it. I really had a tough time this week and was even having trouble with my prayer life and getting into the Word. I meet with my Pastors and a friend every Tuesday though and when they prayed for me I felt almost immediate relief and God given hope. I haven't even had to take much pain medicine since that day. I hope I can stay motivated in Gods word and prayer. It goes to show you how important Christians are to each other.

So, today I had a Dr. Appointment and this is the update. (1)The cancer is very aggressive and has grown significantly in just 3 weeks. (2) I have a 70 percent chance of this new line of chemo halting the current spread and a 35% chance of a drastic (greater than 70%) shrinkage. Oh, and shrinkage is a medical term bye the way. Also, I have a less than 1% chance of the chemo actually killing all the cancer. Let's pray for that one...OK. Statistically I have a pretty good chance of holding out another 8 months to a year if everything goes well. Without this new line of chemo I would have somewhere around 4 months is my understanding. So, even though this treatment leaves me ill for about 7 days it increases my life by twice.

Thanks again and God Bless.

Our problems are nothing compared to this poor family. Here is a link to his website if you can donate anything for his family etc. Right now people in the community are doing their own "Extreme Home Makeover" for his family. They sent them to Disney for 6 days and they are adding a bedroom and bathroom onto his house so that he can die at home. The family does not know that this is going on. They will be returning home from Disney this weekend. My heart goes out to this family.

http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewHome.do

New day dawning

Today, I feel better. I still have a fever of 100.8 but it feels like a relief to me compared to how I felt the past few days.
I think this sickness is finally coming to an end.


Now for the bad part......MY HOUSE!

I have totally been neglecting everything for the past few days. I have literally been doing the bare minimum just to get by. Now back to reality. But I must admit...I am so overwhelmed.

I have laundry stacked up to the ceiling....dishes overflowing my sink, carpets to vacuum, clothing to clear out and bring to goodwill. And really all I want to do is buy stuff.

Perhaps that is my trigger.....I think I use shopping to cope with being overwhelmed. I am trying my hardest to resist temptation but it's not as easy as it sounds. Gymboree is having 30 % off until Sunday. I really, really want to buy some stuff. But guess what? I shouldn't. I am being bombarded with email after email screaming....."look at the great deals" "buy me, and me, and me" UGH! I can't take it. Yet I feel like I can't bare to face the mess that is my house!

I feel like I am in AA

Hi my name is Andi and I am a Shopoholic! haha!

Now I am off to attempt to tackle this mess. It's probably better that I not sit in front of the computer at the moment anyway.

Tired of drama

I am so tired of all the drama. Family = drama. I swear sometimes I just want to scream!

Irate!

I am so aggravated today. I am so frustrated the way the voting system works. I just don't get it. If you have had a minute to look at the "voting map" today or even yesterday for that matter most of the states are already determined. The only ones that will determine this race are: Montana, North Dakota, Arizona, Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia.

Now here is my question. Why the hell do we even vote in any of the other states? Why bother if there are only 10 states that will determine this election.

You here all these people screaming...VOTE, VOTE, VOTE....but does it really matter?

For instance my state NY. Because there is such a high population in the city who are generally liberal, democrats, our state automatically goes Democrat because there are so many people in the city who vote that way. Therefore majority and all electoral votes go to Obama. But this happens EVERY voting year.

What is one to do? Move to a state that believes as you believe? I don't know. I just feel like my vote is wasted. It doesn't matter what I think because no matter what are state is already determined to be Democratic.

I just wish somehow they could split some of the larger states and perhaps make the voting a little more fair. I know it seems fair, but if you have been to the city and then come upstate you will see that we are in a whole different world. Not that everyone here votes for McCain...I'm just saying...the general population up here all believes the same, but we are penalized because we don't have millions of people living up here.

Oh well. Not much you can do about it I guess!

But I did vote. And from my ranting and raving you can probably guess for who!

Happy voting day....and God Bless America.

Really sick now

Ok so I am really sick...I mean really sick. My fever has been 101.5 for a good portion of this afternoon. I have been letting the fever do it's thing in hope that it will fight whatever I have going on here. But as time drags on, so does my energy. I don't really "feel" sick. I feel strange....tired...no energy and I have the chills, but other than that no real sick feeling.

It is now 4:30 and I decided to take my temp again. 102 degrees! This is actually really high for me because my normal temp comes up at 97.8 or so. I broke down and took some meds because I am here alone and the only one who can take care of the kids. I am hoping that the fever will break soon. But...if not...bedtime is really soon and that means momma can go to bed early if she wants!

I hope tomorrow is better. Especially since I have to leave the house tomorrow! MUST VOTE!

CIPA

Huh? What did she just say? What is CIPA (pronounced SEE-PA)? CIPA is an extremely rare inherited disorder of the nervous system which prevents the sensation of pain, heat, and cold.
Do you know how very dangerous life is when you have CIPA? At first glance this sounds great. I NEVER have to feel pain. That is until little Johnny sticks his hand on the stove and burns his hand so severely it can never be used again. Pain...as awful as it is...is there to protect us.

I was watching HOUSE last night and they had a patient with CIPA. They were able to drill through her head and she felt no pain at all. They preforms surgery on her stomach while she was awake, because she felt no pain.

It made me think of my life lately. There has been a lot of pain. But maybe, just maybe this pain is here to protect me. There is a reason for pain. It can make you cautious, it can protect, it can make you learn from your mistakes. Pain is the tool that we use to make us stronger. Pain makes us more appreciative. Pain can help us grow.

Though pain is nothing we like, it is necessary to our well being. Sometimes we can even look back and say...I am so glad that happened.
I don't like pain, but I am thankful for the trials in my life. They have made me who I am today. It has made me strong. Thank you Lord for the pain. Thank you for giving me to opportunity to suffer to see how great you are. You have done great things in my life.

The Story of Job the Long-suffering.

In ancient times, east of Palestine, there lived a righteous man by the name of Job. He was a just and good man, who always strove to please God throughout his life. The Lord rewarded him for his piety with great wealth. He had many hundreds of large and thousands of small cattle. His large and close family of seven sons and three daughters comforted him.

But the Devil was jealous of Job. He began to vilify him before God, "Doth Job fear God for nothing?... But put forth Thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse Thee to Thy face." Then God, in order to reveal to all how faithful Job was to Him and in order to teach people patience in their sufferings, permitted the Devil to take away all of Job’s possessions. One day robbers came and drove away all his cattle, slew his servants, and a terrible tornado from the desert destroyed the house in which Job’s children had gathered together, killing them all. Job not only did not complain against God, but he said, "God gave, and God hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

The Devil, put to shame, was not satisfied with this. Again he began to slander Job, "All a man hath will he give for his life. But put forth Thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh (that is, strike him down with disease), and he will curse Thee to Thy face." God permitted the Devil to deprive Job even of his health, and Job was stricken with the most terrible disease — leprosy. Then even his wife began to persuade him to complain against God. His friends, instead of consolation, only further grieved the innocent sufferer with their unjust suspicions. But Job remained firm, did not lose hope in the mercy of God and only begged the Lord to testify that he was suffering in innocence.

In his discourse with his friends, Job prophesied about the Redeemer and of the future resurrection: I know that my Redeemer liveth and on the last day He shall raise from the dust this my corrupted skin, and in my flesh I shall see God. I shall see Him myself; mine eyes, and not the eyes of another, shall behold Him (Job 19:25-27, Septuagint).

After this, God, having shown to all the example of devotion and long-suffering in His servant Job, appeared Himself and commanded his friends, who had regarded Job as a great sinner, to ask for prayers from him for themselves. God rewarded His faithful servant. Job regained his health. He had seven more sons and three daughters, gained back twice as much cattle as he had before, and lived another one hundred and forty years in honor, quietly, piously and happily.

The story of long-suffering Job teaches us that God sends misfortunes not just for sins, but that sometimes God sends misfortunes even to the righteous for an even greater confirmation in goodness, for the shaming of the Devil, and for the glorification of the righteousness of God. The history of the life of Job also reveals to us that earthly welfare does not always accompany a virtuous life for men and teaches us also to be sympathetic to those in misfortune. Job, by his innocent sufferings and patience, foreshadowed the Lord Jesus Christ.

Bored

This is my third post today. I am bored. Bored out of my mind. I have so much to do around here but I don't feel well and don't want to do anything...but I want to do something. Something other than housework and cooking! Any ideas?

I will now take my bored but and go get some lunch. Even though it is only 10:41 am. We got that extra hour of sleep but boy does it seem like the day is just dragging on.

And Phil is hunting. So that does not help the boredom factor.

I want to go spend money...but I just paid for a huge chunk of the Disney trip...so I have no money to spend. Oh woah is me!

Disney makes me happy

I cannot believe it is November already. I am really happy these days. Florida is giving us something to look forward to, and to keep my brain busy. I thrive on the planning and trying to make it as fun as possible. Though I don't freak out if things don't go as planned. I think I like to plan these things out as much as I can so I know what will be happening. I get very anxious if I don't know what's going on.

So I am totally excited! This trip is actually costing us a bit more than we expected but I have made some changes that saves us money. 1 of them being the rental car. We originally wanted the car for the whole time. That meant we had to pay for the extra days since we could only redeem 7 at a time. The total cost was $295 out of our pocket. That is until I called Disney. They are going to pick us up at the airport and shuttle us to the Magic Kingdom, and shuttle us back to the airport to pick up our rental the day we leave! How great is that. That is saving us paying for 2 days rental, plus 2 days of car seat rental. The cost went from $295 to $87. And since we saved all that money Phil allowed me to plan something that I was SO hoping we could do. Dinner with Cinderella! How cool is that? You can't even tell me that if you were a 5 yr old girl you would not LOVE to have dinner with Cinderella! I called and they had one reservation open for the days we would be there and it was at 7:55 pm but that's ok....it will be worth the wait! So even with doing this we will be saving ourselves $60 from the original car rental price!

Disney truly is a magical place. I really think I could go there everyday and never get sick of it. It's like you step in and all your worried melt away. So cool! But I will settle for 2 days in December. That will be fun too!

Sick

We are now ALL sick. It started with the little man. He was been sick with a cold for about a week now. I thought it was just teething but when I caught it, I reconsidered my theory. Now let me tell you I feel awful. I think its a cold/fly combo. I definitely have a cold, but I also have awful pain in my stomach, a headache, and chills then sweats. It's great!

Miss Emma also has caught this wonderful condition. She seems to recover quickly though so I am hoping it stops at the "snuffy nose" as she calls it.

A prayer by Carol Kent

Father, I am so quick to assume you have vacated my personal space when life doesn't go according to my plan. Help me to understand that when you seem the most absent, you are boundlessly present-working all situations together for my good and for your glory.

The whole world DOES revolve around me :)

Just kidding....well maybe it does. I don't know. I think it's the two little munchkins that call me mom that drive people's actions, but I would like to think it was me!

I tried to talk my dear old(really he's not that old..only 50...sorry dad) dad into going down to Florida with us. His reply...no, no, NO. I can't get time off from work. But he did just purchase a second home down there and needed to fix it up so that he can rent it out but there was just no way it was gonna happen anytime soon.

Until today. Dad called and asked when we were going. He said he and my YOM had to go down there in December from Thurs-Monday and wanted to know when we were going. It just so happens we are arriving on a Thursday :)

Now my grandma was coming from VT but stopping in MA that weekend to visit my dad. And she was saying it was too bad he couldn't come down during that time. And because she had to visit him she would not be to FL until the 23rd. Well dear old dad says that he may go down to FL the same day as we do and leave that Monday. And if dad does that, then grandma will follow :) So we will get to see my dad for Christmas and see my grandparents for longer than expected.

That is, if he purchases the tickets and does all this VERY soon!

Hopefully he will. And now I am off to get my son whom I have been ignoring. He only slept for an hour. What is wrong with this child????

It's official!

We are going to Disney!!!! December 18th-26th I will be in sunny Florida! What a project it is to plan a trip to Disney! YIKES! We thought most of our trip would be free, and it is, but this so called "free" trip is still costing us $2,000!
Our plane tickets were essentially free. Phil had 3 round trip flight rewards since he flies so much for work. BUT...they had black out dates. Hence the time frame we picked! If we did not come home on the 26th then we would have to stay until the 31st. I have no problem with this, but paying for dog care, airport parking fees etc can add up in a hurry! So home on the 26th it is. We also have to fly into Orlando (which is fine) but the original plan was to fly to and from Tampa because that is where my grandma lives. The total cost of the plane tickets $15.00. We had to pay for the taxes!

Next the hotel! Since the only flight we could get on departure day was arriving in Orlando at 5 ish we needed an extra hotel day. Hotel costs for a Disney resort $285. Which honestly is not bad at all seeing as it IS a resort hotel. One of the lower class ones, but really who cares.

Next a minivan. Phil has 11 free days saved up. We called to redeem them, and much to our surprise we can only use 7 at a time. Therefore we have to pay for one day on our own, plus taxes, plus car seat rentals! Total cost $250.

We are spending 2 days in the Magic Kingdom. Praise God that Ethan is free....because for the 3 of use for 2 days it is going to cost us....are you ready for this? Are you sure your ready.......$423! Yikes! But hey, it's where the Magic Happens right?

After our 3 days in Orlando we are driving to Tampa to my grandmothers condo. Only thing is her and my grandfather will not be arriving until the 23rd. This is not a big deal as we will have the place to ourselves, but on the other hand it stinks because we were hoping to be able to spend more time with them. They are leaving VT on the 19th and driving to Mass to see my dad and uncle and have Christmas with them before heading to Florida. I told them to ditch them and come straight to Florida ;) We'll see what happens. I know my grandpa would..not that he doesn't love the boys, but he LOVES warm weather even more! haha! So lets hope and pray they come a day early so we can visit longer.

Then the 26th it is back to Orlando to fly out that night! And when we get home we will still have 2 weeks off from school. LOL! Too funny. But we will be broke so we won't be doing a darn thing! haha!

I can't believe we are actually doing this. I am so excited to see my kids there. I have experienced it with my brother and sister when they were young and it was great. There is nothing like going to Disney with kids. And my step mom is having Ariel call Emma, and give her an autographed picture! What little girl wouldn't love that. I am also trying to arrange a character breakfast, so that she can eat in Cinderella's castle. I am so excited about this....I cannot wait.

Now I am feverishly praying that God will provide all the money we need. From what I can see we can come up with about $1200. Realisticly we only need $1369 to make this trip happen, but we want to have a buffer so we are not worried about buying an ice cream, or souvenier. Who knows when we will be able to go again so we really want to live it up down there.

Oh yah, and I told all of my family to purchase Disney dollars for the kids for Christmas so they will each have their own spending money. So we won't have to worry about that too much. I am so excited. And because I am going to Florida 2 months early, means that we can start trying in December for a baby! I had to wait a few months (doctor's orders) but I was extending it a bit so that I would not be pregnant in February when we originally wanted to go. Now I get to start trying 2 months earlier which is good news. I could still deliver a baby next year. If it's God's will of course.

That's all from me today. I am exhausted cause the baby was up literally all night. I was up with him from 1 am - well now 8:45 am. He slept here and there for maybe 20 minutes at a time. Just as I would doze off the crying began again. I think he is getting sick. I am hoping for a good nap time...for both our sakes.

Friends

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are Monica. You have a go-all-out nature. Your friends better watch out, because you play to win. Also, when it comes to order and cleanliness, you're a bit obsessive compulsive. Your best trait, however, is your thoughtfulness. You go to great lengths to care for your friends.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

I was afraid of that! haha! I think it's right except for the cleanliness part. I am a perfectionist, but not a clean freak!

This just made my day

This is an email I just got from my step mom. She is so awesome...I love her! She calls herself YOM meaning Your Other Mother! I just want to cry. This means so much to me. Emma is going to love this!

Hi Andi,

Just wondering when you're in Flordia going to Disney will you guys be staying at Disney overnight at all while you're there? My friends daugther Heather works there and I told her how you will be going and she told me If I can find out the name of the hotel your staying at, if you're staying at one while there, then she will arrange It to have one of the Disney characters call Emma and also give her an autographed picture of her favorite character. Let me know if you guys will be staying at a hotel in Disney or if your just staying with your Grammie the whole time.

Thanks,
Yom

Bad luck comes in how many?

WOW! It seems like we are really being tested lately, but God is good and faithful.

Obviously the first thing that started this chain reaction was the miscarriage.

My dishwasher broke. And really broke....Piece of junk is only 5 yrs old.....why can't they make things like they used to?

My kitchen chairs are falling apart. They are bordering on dangerous. Therefore I eat all of my meals in front of the t.v. lol!

Then we needed a whole bunch of money for doctor's bills because of the miscarriage. We needed money from the E.R. visit with Ethan. Thankfully, hospitals and doctors allow payments....with no interest!

Then we needed money for our closing. (This actually was unneeded stress, because the broker was wrong and we needed no money. What I don't get though....why did we pay him for doing a job that he didn't do right? Hmmmm?)


BUT then last weekend Phil was bow hunting (he got a doe, we have lbs and lbs of free meat in the freezer...gotta love that!) He tracked his doe and threw her in the back of the truck. He proceeded to drive his 4 wheeler up into the truck and as he was going up the ramps slipped out leaving him and the 4 wheeler teetering on the edge of the bed. Off went Phil, and shortly there after went the 4 wheeler. Thankfully, Phil is very good in dangerous situations and he was able to do a back flip and get out of the way before this 700 lb machine came down on top of him. Thank God is he fine and was able to get out of there with just a sore back. But the 4 wheeler parts are going to set us back about $400! There goes over half the money we had set aside for the closing! lol!

Then Friday we got tickets for the kids to go see Veggie Tales live. They were so surprised and had such a good time. We all did. It was really fun to see them light up over those huge veggies! We got home late and went to bed.
We woke up on Saturday and had a lazy day, until 5pm when we were off to the town Halloween party. Got the kids all dressed and ready to go, get in the car start her up and up the driveway we go...and hmmm..something just doesn't feel right. Hmmmm....smoke...do you smell smoke? We then discover....we have a flat tire! GREAT!
So we hop in Phil's truck and decided we will deal with my truck later.
Sunday morning...Phil tries to get the spare tire out from under the vehicle. Guess what? The tire does not come out! In fact it doesn't even budge! Apparently on our vehicle there is some sort of cable system that lowers the tire...and apparently you are supposed to lube this thing up every year...but we did not know this.
What did we do you ask? We had to call roadside assistance! Thank God Phil bought the extended warranty on the vehicle and it can be fixed for free! But do to NY state law they could not tow the car to the dealer because they were not open. So they came today...Monday morning...to tow the car. Poor Phil spent all morning sitting in the dealership waiting for them to get the darn tire off...which by the way they needed to use a torch for to loosen that puppy up.

We discovered that the tire slayer was a nail! It's great that all of that was covered but it is forcing us to purchase new tires which we DO need, but were not high on the priority list until today! $525 more to spend!

Then today. Phil was selling some stuff on ebay. He had only one day left on our camera...a very high ticket item...and his account gets high jacked and the auction got canceled. No more selling that! I sat on the online ebay help all day trying to get that all squared away. Thankfully it is all set now but it's still VERY frustrating to deal with.

So as you can see, we have been through some "stuff" the past 8 weeks! But God is good. HE is faithful and he is providing where we don't even expect it. And in the big scheme of things....whats a few hundred dollars. We are all alive and well, and happy.....stressed...yes, but hanging in there.

And above all, I see the faithfulness of God.

I see His footprints in the sand carrying me through this time.

The other day I was loathing in my pittifulness (is that a word?) and He spoke loud and clear. He said have a good cry and let go! It's time to let go. So my sweet little angel baby #2...I know you are safe and I will never forget...but I am letting go. I am not letting these depressed emotions take over my life. You know the odd thing I just discovered? The first baby I lost would have been born August 29th.....this miscarriage began August 29th 2 yrs later. And then the words.....never forget my faithfulness....and it's time to let go.

God is good.

I am so excited!

I think we will be spending Christmas in Disney! YIPPEE! I am SOOOOO a woman. I change my mind every 10 seconds! My grandmother called and said that they rented out their place for February and March but its open for December and January. She was saying how nice it would be to have us and the kids there for Christmas. And the more I think about it the more amazing it sounds.

I will keep you posted but I don't think much will change. But hey I AM a woman so you never know! :)

Oh yah and the neck is slowly getting better. I can turn it part of the way now. Hopefully tomorrow it will be all better!

October 23

It is 7:30 am here, and I still have lots of neck pain. I hate it! I don't think anyone quite realizes how much you use certain parts of your body until they can't use it! That's the way I feel about my neck. I have trouble lifting Ethan, bending over is a chore, trying to change diapers...painful. I just want to feel better. I have to admit that rest is helping. It feels so much better if I lay still, but lets face it. I have two kids. I can't just lay around ALL day. Luckily Emma is in school, and when Ethan naps I get rest.
I never knew how much you use your neck muscles to hold your head up. I must have a big fat head cause if I am sitting up the neck pain is 100 times worse.

Did you know that you are not supposed to put heat on a pulled muscle for the first 48 hours? I didn't! I read that yesterday you are supposed to ice it for no more than 15 mins at a time for the first 48 hours then you can introduce heat, but wet heat...like a shower.

I was supposed to volunteer at Emma's school today, but they sent home a note saying that they will not need me there since they are having a bus safety program this morning.
I am relieved about this because I don't think I could drive properly!

I have also been taking muscle relaxers that the doctor gave me for when I get tension migraines. It's not doing much to loosen the muscle. come to find out, muscle relaxers just block the sensation of pain going to the brain.

Oh my gosh! I just walked into the kitchen and laying on the table I see the socks that my wonderful daughter was supposed to put on her feet before leaving the house!
Now she is at school all day without socks! UGH! Kids! lol!

Ouch!

This morning I threw my neck out! No, not in the trash....I mean I pulled just about every muscle known to man in my neck. And it hurts. I have no idea what happened!
My husband was leaving for work and I gave him a hug. I picked my head up and leaned back a bit to look at his face because he was talking. AND THEN IT HAPPENED! PAIN! Incredible paid running down the left side of my neck. It is now 3 o'clock and it's still not any better. I have taken muscle relaxers, rested and iced it, but there is still pain.

Trust me the last thing I want to be doing right now is icing my neck. It is cold here. Very cold. In fact it actually snowed last night. Here is a picture to what we woke up to. I know what you all are thinking! Snow in October? This happens to us every year. We always get one snow in October and then it warms up and is usually half way decent until Thanksgiving.

So today I am bored. I can't work out which I am torn about. I want to, but don't want to! I can't really do too much because I can't move my neck at all.

Friday we are taking the kids to see Veggie Tales Live. I am excited about that. It's the first "show" they have ever been to. We haven't told them yet..I think we will just surprise them when we get there.

That's about all the news we have for now. Emma will be home any minute so I guess I should start getting my shoes and jacket on. Cause baby it's cold outside!

Hunting Widow

Today is opening season of bow hunting. Phil is officially gone all the time now! lol! He went out this morning and think he got a doe at 3 pm. He is still tracking her.

Today I took the kids to the Fisher Price store and we did all the shopping for the birthdays and for Christmas presents for all the little kids in our lives. This is the end of present buying for the year..except for Santa Claus!!!!

I think I did really good. I spent $117 and got 3 items for Emma for Christmas (I snuck them in without her seeing them)since they were on sale. I got a Birthday and Christmas present for my nephew, I got presents for both of my nieces for Christmas, and I got a present for a friend at school who has a b-day party on the 26th that we have to go to. I didn't think that was too shabby.

Then we went to Subway for lunch. After we that we went to the store to get supplies for making cupcakes! Remind me to never again go to a supermarket on a weekend!!!

When we got home the baby went to bed, I started a fire and then we made cupcakes.
And not just any old cupcakes! Frankenstein cupcakes! That's right...I said frankenstein. Try to hold back your jealousy! haha!!!!

Here is a pic of the finished product!!!

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Lazy day

I am so bored today. Don't get me wrong there is so much to do around here, but it's just one of those days. It is damp, and raining, dark and dreary. It makes you feel "blah" I have absolutely zero will power today. I want to curl up on the couch and be a lump!!!

I actually was able to steal a few moments with my son today. He was sitting on the couch watching cartoons and I went into the living room and sat on the couch with him. I got a full half hour of snuggle time just sitting with him smelling his sweet baby smell.

It's funny cause when he was a newborn he didn't want to leave my side. He wanted me to hold him all the time, he even slept on my chest every night. It was comforting to him. It seems all nice and cozy but after a while you long to roll over on your side while your sleeping!

Then they get older. They learn to walk and snuggling isn't high on the list!

So today was special. A short 30 minutes of just cuddling up with him was heaven!

I will take it where I can get it, even if I DO half to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to get it!

How is it possible?

As I sit here typing, watching my son walk around I am wondering "How in the world can something that little walk?"

Seriously...have you ever watched a 1 year old walk? It seems so wrong. They are babies....how is it possible to toddle around the house?

I don't know just another thing about creation that amazes me.

Perhaps I am easily amused.....you be the judge.

Yesterday 10/14

I did the 30 day shred again. Hopefully it's shredding....because I really despise doing it. I am so impatient! I want that new hot bod now! I am hoping to see some sort of weight loss on Friday....fingers crossed!

Am I lucky or what?

Have I mentioned how wonderful my husband has been lately?

As many of you know I went away for 4 days last month. Ever since I have gotten back my hubby has been pitching in and helping out 100% more than he has before.

Every morning that he is here, he will get the baby out of bed and get him milk and bring him to our room. ---It's so nice not to have to jump out of bed first thing in the morning.

Sunday he made us all breakfast. Homemade apple cinnamon waffles. And cleaned up after. Boy were those good!

He helps me clean up after dinner--normally he would go to the computer and do his own thing. Now he helps clear the table, put things away and even helps with the dishes. How great is that?

Diapers! He is changing so many diapers!

Laundry....he has done laundry!

I know, I know most of you would say what's the big deal. He should do these things anyway. But truth is...he never did in the past. A lot of the burden of these things fell on my shoulders, and boy were my they aching. You don't realize how nice it is until you go to change a diaper and it's done, or go to do the dishes and they are done. What a treat.

Anyway I am very thankful for all the extra help I am getting. I have to be sure to let him know how much I appreciate it!

Complaints about my physical condition.

A little update on personal matters. I am SOOO trying to find some positive out of this whole situation (the miscarriage) but it seems like something new gets thrown at me everyday. Right now I am bleeding. It's not the bleeding that worries me...it's the fact that I have been bleeding for 11 days. Yup you heard right 11 days.

I called my doctor today and said that this isn't the usual thing that happens after miscarriage but it's not something to really worry about yet. HUH? I know it's not hurting anything but it is darn annoying. And he did say that to me, but still. You are a doctor fix me for crying out loud! I know there is nothing he can do...I just wish he could! This whole process is just getting tiresome.

Anyway so I still feel tired, I am still bleeding....I AM a woman with an issue of blood. That poor lady in the Bible. How did she deal with it all those years? Especially since she had to yell "unclean, unclean" wherever she went. Some of the things I go through are humiliating but I can't imagine if I had to announce to every stranger walking by that I was "unclean".

I know what you are thinking...but you are announcing to everyone that you are "unclean" you are posting it for the world to see. TRUE! But I don't have to look anyone in the face...or scream it to the check out lady at the supermarket.

The doctor's instructions were to wait. Wait it out. And after the next pack of pills I am still having a problem he will readjust from there. Can I take one more month of this? I will be all fixed and straightened out just in time to come off the pill again! YIPPEE!

I'm so excited, and I just can't hid it....

Tomorrow is my first official MOPS meeting of the year. I cannot wait. I am so excited to go and be able to have some grown up time. Don't get me wrong going on my mini-vacation was amazing, but that only happens on rare...very rare...occasions.
But at MOPS I get a total break twice a month for 2 1/2 hours! Oh the joy! It's a little slice of heaven.

I must admit though, I am a little nervous about the whole thing. Ethan is really feeling his oats lately. He has major outbursts to put it nicely. I wouldn't say they are temper tantrums because he doesn't have much of a temper. He just seems to have 2 emotions....super happy, and super mad! haha! When he is happy, he is the sweetest little boy around but if he gets upset....LOOK OUT WORLD! My sweet little boy decides to throw himself on the ground kicking and screaming.

Did I mention we never had such body expressions, when Emma was his age. She has a temper, but she is more scream and throw things...you know what I mean? Never once did I ever see Emma throw herself to the ground...it just wasn't her.
Ethan on the other hand will drop in a moments notice!

This age is so hard. I said it with Emma and I repeat it with Ethan. I really dislike 18 months old to about 2 and a half. They are still babies, and they are smart, but not smart enough to control themselves. It doesn't matter if you punish them...they just don't care. Have you ever tried to get an 18 month old to stand in the corner? Have you ever slapped the hand of an 18 month old? They look at you and either laugh...or get more mad..and continue with their fits.

And embarrassing. Did I mention embarrassing? Now I know, every mother has gone through this, but why me? Why my kids?
And why is that even though every mom has been through it, we still get the cold stares every time it happens. You would think being a mom would make you more empathetic to all of this chaos.

So anyway back to the original topic. Now you can see why I may be a little nervous about tomorrow. God forbid one of these little episodes takes a hold of my dear son. Actually I am pretty sure IT WILL happen because MOPS is during nap time...haha! I am so screwed!

Anyway...I need to get my behind into bed.

I have so much to post about tomorrow though, about my wonderful husband. I am very blessed...that's all I can say. Stay tuned!