Mom, Does Jesus Live on Mars?

First I want to say that I am very open with my 4 year old. If she asks a question about something I answer her honestly and at a level she can understand giving only the appropriate information needed. I think that being with way with my kids will make things more open and honest between all of us when they become teenagers. Emma knows the correct names to body parts, she has asked where babies come from--obviously because we just had one--and so much more that it's even too much to list here.

Anyway, in her short life she has already had to deal with death and there have been several losses starting with the miscarriage I had last year. This year my in-laws dog got hit by a car and died, and our next door neighbor Mr. Dave...whom we talked to on a regular basis passed away just a month ago from cancer he was only 65. So with my miscarriage it was an easy thing to explain oddly enough. I told her that Jesus had given us this baby but then realized the baby was very very sick so he decided to take the baby out of mommy's belly up to heaven where there is no sickness anymore. That was easy for her to comprehend and she was happy with that answer. She never physically saw the baby, and accepted the fact that it wasn't here anymore. But then Laddie got hit by a car. Now Emma is a huge animal lover. As of right now we have 2 dogs and a cat, and she is always collecting frogs, and ladybugs, and snakes (WHICH I HATE) anything she can get her little hands on. So when we went for a visit at the inlaws and Laddie was not there, she immediately noticed and asked what happened to him. My MIL said that Laddie died and went to heaven. Ok fine. She thought that was a good answer to her question and understood what that meant. Then my MIL asked if we saw Laddie in the yard (he was buried way out back with a little tombstone etc.) I said no, and she said "come on I will show you. Emma then responds "How are we gonna get there?" "Get where, Emma?" "Heaven, Laddie is in heaven how are we gonna get there?" So rather then try to explain it we just left it at that because she got distracted with toys anyway.
So then our neighbor dies a few weeks ago. Phil went to the funeral but I did not because Ethan was cranky and though I am honest about everything with her , I did not know how I felt about her seeing his body laying there in the casket. So we explained to her that Mr. Dave died and that daddy was going to the funeral to see him. Again she asks "Are you going to heaven daddy?" and not putting two and two together yet..thinking she was just afraid that Phil was gonna die he said no. So she asks "then where are you going?' At this point he had to leave so to the best of my ability I explained to her the situation.
So are you ready for my response? I asked her about her frogs, and how when she catches them and leaves them in the house too long how they die. She said yes, they die. Then I said to her that the body of the frog was still here, but the frog was dead. Yes, she understood this as well. So I explained that this is what happens to people. We have a body, and inside of us is a ghost (she did not understand the word spirit). And when we die our body stays here and we bury it in the ground, but our ghost that is essentially us, goes on to heaven where we get a new body. So daddy was going to the funeral just to see Mr. Dave's body, but the ghost that was inside was in heaven and the body is dead. Totally understood all of it and dropped it right there.

Well last night I was putting her to bed, and she said "Mommy does Jesus live on Mars?" And I said no Jesus is in heaven but he made Mars. And she says "oh yah right." She goes on to say that someday she will go to heaven and I told her yes, but not until you are really old. And she said "yes and I will see the baby there (I have not talked about this baby in front of her in over a year), and I will see Laddie, and Mr. Dave. And I said " you sure will." Then she said "I will go to heaven without a body, I wonder what kind of body I will get there?" And I said "maybe a body that looks like an angel" And she said "no I think it will have skin, but I wonder what color I will be...maybe brown, or black." Haha! I said "yes maybe, we'll just have to wait and see when we get there."

It just amazes me how much of a thinker this little girl is. She sits and asks questions and will stop once she is satisfied, but she never settles for the first thing you say. She always prods deeper to try to understand more, and then she comes up with her own theories as well. I honestly am not saying this because she is my own child, but I have never run across a 4 year old who asks such complex questions. Maybe that's because I was never that child's mom and wasn't around to hear these things, or perhaps parents just aren't as open with their children. I get criticized often for how much I actually tell her. Most people wouldn't do into depth about death, but she wanted to know so I did my best to explain it to her in a way she could understand. And she never ceases to amaze me with the things she comes up with! I love her to death, she is certainly one of a kind!