God sent me an angel today

Today I went food shopping. For those of you who don't know, I go food shopping every 2 weeks. It has been this way for the whole 10 years of my marriage. We are former Navy and got paid every two weeks and found it much easier to tackle the supermarket only twice a month!

That's all well and great when it's just two of you. We have doubled our family size in the past ten years and now have little ones that tag along. Because I am a stay at home mom, I often food shop during the week. 1. because everyone else in the world is working and the supermarkets are virtually empty and 2. because my hubby is gone pretty much every Monday-Friday so the last thing we want to do is plow through a supermarket on the weekends.

Life had gotten a bit easier since Emma started kindergarten. Emma despised going food shopping. And to be honest, she was a big pain when we did go.
Now she has the luxury of learning while her brother and I do it.

This was all pleasant and fine until 2 months ago. Ethan decided he no longer wanted to sit in the cart. One time my hubby came with me cause he happened to be home during the week and he made the mistake of letting the little terror out of the cart. This is all well and good when there are two adults around. But when one is trying to shop and wrangle the child, it's not a pretty picture.

Every since that day my little guy insists on getting out of the cart. He wriggles and squirms his way out of the darn seat belts and manages to stand up ready to plunge head first towards the ground whether I am there to catch him or not. And buy the way, I am all for reality learning when it's safe. He is not one to "learn" from his mistakes. He will do something when we tell him not to, even if it hurts him and then laughs. He does it to spite us...I just know it.

Today was one of those days. I was shopping to get all the goodies for the kids while Phil and I are gone. Easy, bad for you convenience foods so my 19 year old sister doesn't have to cook.

I picked my cart, strapped the son in and got on my way. Except much to my displeasure, I discovered very quickly that the cart was the old style meaning it was the smaller version than I am used to. My cart is overflowing with the big cart, so you can imagine how packed it was today. Nevertheless I was to lazy to take my items out of that cart and get a new one.

I tried to fly through the store as fast as possible. We had a few melt downs. Him screaming NO because he wanted to get out. I did the only thing you can do....IGNORE IT and made him sit back down. He didn't like it very much though. I thought I was doing pretty good. Then he saw it. The dreaded bakery counter that has free samples. SNACK, SNACK, SNACK, NO, NO, WALK, WALK, MINE, SNACK! If I were at home there would be no snack giving. But for the sake of my sanity, and the hope to finish my shopping in peace I gave in. He got 2 free samples from the counter.

We approach the check out line and there were two people ahead of me. Not bad, we will be out of here in no time. The first lady finished up, in a matter of minutes. There was only one more to go. Except she has a BAZILLION food stamps and WIC checks. I have no problem with people using that system but after the experience we had had already I was SO not in the waiting mood. Plus, the cashier was about 100 years old. Again, no disrespect to her but this is what you get when you shop on a weekday first thing in the morning.

I could not get out of line because they had no other lines open. Oh yah you heard me right. NO OTHER LINES OPEN! WHAT! So I waited, and waited, and waited some more. This lady had maybe 20 items and it literally took a half hour to get her checked out.

Then a very kind lady got in line behind me. She began talking to Ethan and asking him animal sounds, and colors. She helped me unloaded my cart onto the conveyor belt. Things fell off the belt and she picked them up for me. She helped me reload my overflowing cart since I had a screaming toddler hanging off my hip. And then she said "now Ethan you be good for you mommy, so you can come back here." Thank God for her. If she weren't there to help me out in this way I seriously would have lost my mind. It was so nice and so very helpful. A nice break from the stares you usually get.."another mom with out of control children!" Let's face it, if you have two year old they are out of control. That's all there is to it.

And now he is running around the house naked (because he doesn't like clothing anymore...thank God summer is coming)playing with himself. Good times! :) I better go clothe the boy before he pees all over something.

God is good.

I don't even know what to title this. I was just having an ordinary plain old day and I read one of my friends blogs. She has had a rough time, she has lost a couple of babies and the past few years have been really hard for her.

I just learned today that she is now pregnant with twins! How awesome! God is so good! I started crying when I read her post. I am honestly overwhelmed with joy for her. She really deserves this. Please say a prayer for her if you think of it. Pray that God protect these babies and that in the fall she will hold 2 beautiful, healthy babies in her arms.

Praise God!!!!

I never thought this day would come.

Some of you may already know that I have had a pretty volatile relationship with my mother my whole entire life. We were never close, and I don't think we ever will be.

A little bit of background on my mom. She was born in 1958. She was the third of 4 children. She is the only girl. My grandparents never wanted a girl and made that well known to her, her entire life. Her father served in WWII. He was in the Navy and on the USS Canberra. He was on the ship when it was bombed. He survived but was forever changed. He came home a drunk. They never talked about stuff back then. The just drowned their memories in alcohol. My grandfather was a mean drunk. He was physically abusive. My grandmother was distant to my mother and was very emotionally abusive. My grandparents didn't have a great relationship. He slept in the basement and her in their room. My mom was messed up.

She dated my dad for 6 months and then got married. 16 months later I was born. 3 yrs after that a sister followed. My parents never had a good relationship either. For some reason they stayed together and went on the have 2 more children. When I had my daughter in 2007 they separated on really bad terms. My mom did some things to my dad that were totally uncalled for. I was 23, the youngest sibling was 12.

My parents went on to divorce. In 2007 right after I had my son, my dad remarried and I have an awesome step mom. We also have gained 3 more siblings and lots of new cousins for my kids.

My mom is still on her own. Her dysfunction brought her back to the very place she despises the most....her mother's house. My grandmother will be 86 this year. My grandfather has been dead for 8 yrs.

This February my parents would have been married for 30 yrs.

I struggled with my mother so much in my life. She is still messed up. I hated my mom, but I knew somehow I would have to forgive her for my own sake. I wrestled with how to honor my mother, and still protect myself and my kids. I prayed about this constantly. How do you forgive someone who has hurt you so much? It took years. I continued to pray. God is good, He has helped me forgive my mom and come to peace with how our relationship is.

A few days ago I was on the phone with my mom. She said that she was sorry that she wasn't a good mother. She said she was sorry for being so hard on me. She was sorry for what she did to my dad. She was sorry.

I never really thought I would hear that, and that was ok because I had come to peace with it. I must admit, it was nice to hear it.

Now I don't expect things to change. In fact I know they won't. How do you teach an old dog new tricks? Not that it's not impossible...God can do anything. I just don't think it will happen.

It wasn't a mistake I was chosen to be her child. I am a better person for it. I still miss not having a "mom". You know, for those important times in your life you really want to have your mom....and I don't. I can't call my mom for advice that's not how our relationship is. But somehow, another piece was repaired.

You take it for what it is and hopefully make changes for the next generation.

And you thought you had bad dandruff

Prayer

1 Thessalonians 5:12-22

12But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction,

13and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another.

14We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

15See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.

16 Rejoice always;

17 pray without ceasing;

18in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

19 Do not quench the Spirit;

20do not despise prophetic utterances.

21But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good;

22abstain from every form of evil.

I have been thinking about verse 17 for quite sometime now. I think it's because I have just had revelation on that. I always questioned that verse. Pray without ceasing? Surely, you must be kidding. Who has time for that?

This seemed like an impossible task for me. Why? Because I viewed prayer only as a down on my knees, eyes closed, quiet room type of thing. Really, how could you pray without ceasing if this is your definition of prayer?

Is there a time and a place to get down on your knees? Yes. Is there a time for fasting and prayer? Yes. But really, in our everyday lives that doesn't fit into a mom's lifestyle. Especially if you have young kids.

You see, I have learned that God doesn't care. He just wants us to talk to him. He wants to hear our voice. When we are frustrated with our kids he wants us to just shout out to Him and ask for His help. Nothing fancy. Just come before God completely honest and tell Him...I am really gonna loose my marbles with this child if you don't help me. He will listen. He is there.

When things are good, stop and say good morning Lord...thank you for today.

When things are bad tell him how you feel. I figure He knows my heart anyway, I may as well be honest and speak it. We are human. We are sinners. We aren't meant to be happy with every thing that happens to us. Even Jesus came before the Lord in the garden and asked that this cup be removed from him...but if not, then your will not mine be done.
It's ok to be scared, to be mad, to be happy, to be sad. God knows. Don't let it keep you from communicating with him. He longs for that relationship, and so don't we.
Just know that we don't always know what the future holds, but we are to rejoice because this is God's will for our lives. We may not see the big picture or be happy with what's happening, but He knows. He is there and wants nothing more then for us to come before him each day, all day without ceasing with an honest heart. If we do that, He will take care of the rest.

I need a laxative......

....not for me, for my stopped up pipes. I mean to dislodge huge piece of ice that are preventing me from having any water in my house today.

Today started off as any other day.....COLD! Have I mentioned how much I am hating the cold?
I woke up at 6 today got the kids up and Emma ready for school. She got dressed, ate, brushed her teether and was off at 7:10. I come in the house from bringing her to the bus stop and want to start my day. I go to turn on the kitchen sink to fill my coffee pot with water. Except, there's not water. Not one drop. Of course it has to happen today when Phil is in California. In the past if something has gone wrong he in on the next flight home. But this is a mandatory thing at the home office and he cannot come home until Friday. Normally this would be a huge inconveince but not that big of a deal. But today was different. You see, I had to bring my dog to get groomed at 9 o'clock. Which means I had to leave the house at 8:30 to be there in time. And of course, I hadn't showered....in 2 days! Yes that's right...I am a pig...or a mom...or...I don't know...but don't judge me I know you've done it too!

Did I mention that California is 3 hrs behind us in time...so 7:30 here means 4:30 for them! Phil calls me at 8:15 (15 mins before my estimated leaving time) and asks how I am doing and I proceed to tell him about the stinking water. Then of course he has this check list of things for me to do. Come to find out the outlet in which the heat tape is plugged into no longer works, thus freezing my pipes.

At 8:50 I left my house with little boy and dog in tow. We got to the Pet shop 15 mins late. Oh well, at least they still took her. She was way overdue for a grooming and her bum smelled like fish. DIS-GUS-TING!

Then it was off to the Depot to get extension cords to plug the heat tape back in. $48 later we were armed with the necessary tools and headed back home. I got back home around 10:15. I plugged everything in, gave Ethan a snack, vacuumed the house and it was back out to the store to food shop. Flew through that as fast as possible because I knew I would have to get the dog soon. Wouldn't you know it half hour before I finished she called to tell me, my dog was all set. I finished the shopping loaded the car--did I mention it's freezing here?--and headed back to the pet store. Picked up the dog, and headed to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Got the prescription, got home at 1:20. Still no water. Unloaded groceries and kid. Changed his diaper for the first time today (besides when he woke up) fed him and me, and put him down for a nap. Put away groceries, plugged in space heater to heat up the well, brought in wood for the wood stove, picked up Emma at the bus stop, made dinner for the kids, blogged, and guess what? STILL NO WATER.

I really hope this clears up before it gets dark. I don't do underground wells, in the dark. I may not have a choice tonight though.
Oh yah and I am exhausted. Mama is going to sleep well tonight.

I still have to eat dinner myself, do reading with my 6 yr old, get the kids in pj's...no baths tonight!, and put them to bed.

Hopefully we will have water tonight, but at the latest tomorrow. And if you see me out, don't get to close...I look and smell homeless. Thank God kids don't care!

Emma gone wild.

About two weeks ago my darling daughter decided she would like to go and get her ears pierced. Great! We talked all about it. How the procedure would go, how it would hurt just a little but then she could wear all the cute little earrings her heart desired!

Last night we brought her to the mall to get it done. Mind you, the mall is an hour from us so we made sure this is what she wanted to do before we left.
"Yes mom, I WANT to get it done." Ok then, off we went.

We got to the store and picked out the earrings, signed all the forms, and turned in all the necessary form of ID. Geez, it's just ear piercing...you'd think I was applying for a passport or something.

Anyway she got all ready, and we put her up in the chair. She got her ears all cleaned up, the circles drawn...we were in business. Until, the earring "gun" appeared. Emma freaked. She shrugged her shoulders tight against her ears and would not put them down.

I turned to the piercing girl and told her that I was sorry but she was not going to get this done. We took Emma out of the chair. She stood feet firmly planted on the ground, refusing to leave the store because "she wanted those earrings."

Ok fine, attempt two. We explained to her that if she was going to do this she had to do it. "Yes I will, I really want them." Back up in the chair. Lady comes near her with the gun and freaking out again. Shoulders shrugged firmly against the ears. Now let me tell you, this girl is strong when she doesn't want to do something. I have had to restrain her in the doctors office before while she got shots and boy oh boy was that hard. She could have easily taken me out. After trying to calm her down, talk her down, there was still no progress. Again, nice lady we are not doing this.

Emma gets off the chair and suddenly wants earring again. LAST TIME! Seriously this is the LAST TIME WE ARE ATTEMPTING THIS! YOU BETTER DO IT! LOL! Ok mom I will. This time she sat on my lap. Daddy held her hands and I bear hugged her. This time when the lady even thought about coming near her she had a mental break down. She was screaming at the top of her lungs " get away from me, I changed my mind, no NO NO!"

Now don't get me wrong. I understand how scary this must have been. But another part of me was thinking "you are 6, you hurl yourself down mountains in skiis.....GET OVER IT!" How embarrassing it was!

So after many dirty looks, and a woman who was waiting at the register to check out decided to chime in her two cents "you really need to tell her that it's ok she didn't get them, and stop forcing her to do this!" Hello my child......we are not forcing her. This child refused to leave the store 10 minutes ago because SHE WANTED EARRINGS! Do not judge me....lady at the counter. I did not ask for any change!

So really, I do not know how Emma thought they were going to get into her ears. She didn't want them to be put in the traditional way, but she didn't want to leave without them....as if magical fairies would come and gently place them in her ears.

Needless to say this was our first and last attempt at this. If she wants them now, she will have to wait until she's 16 or something cause mama, is not going through that again.

But we ended on a high note. We indeed told her it was ok not to get the earrings, but ridiculous to scream as if she was being murdered. Then we went and got ice cream!