Answered prayer...a little preachy but hey it's my life!

I know some of you out there probably don't believe in God or have never seen or heard from Him directly, but I totally believe and trust in Him. I have seen Him work in so many areas of my life how could I not believe. I have to admit that I had been slacking off in the area of reading my Bible, and really had only been praying when I "needed" something...which quite honestly annoyed me. I mean, how would I like it if my children never talked to me except for when they wanted things. So, a few weeks ago I decided to get things back together and try my best to rekindle the relationship. Plus, again quite honestly a lot has been going on in my life that I don't quite understand and I needed guidance and help with. The issues:

1. Which is kind of personal (so bare with me as I try to explain without explaining)got answered tonight. I have been going back and forth about what was the "right" thing and what I should do. I felt strongly one way and another part of me said no...but I still felt that pull towards yes. I was so confused about what was right, and then I finally figured out that it's not my decision. That I needed to pray about it and wait for the answer rather then trying to reason it out in my brain. So on and off I have been praying about it for a little while. While I was in the shower today (really my only time to be alone...well sometimes) I began to ask about it again, and for wisdom on what to do. Well this evening I got my confirmation. The pull I felt towards the yes answer was the right answer.

2.I totally believe that kids are a gift from God, but oh what a financial burden they can cause! We have thousands of dollars of medical bills that need to be paid and we are getting there slowly but surely. But my whole take on this is that kids are a gift from God, God says he provides all our needs. Ethan was meant to be here and that has been reaffirmed often. I prayed for this baby before he was even conceived and I know that HE was the ONE that was meant to be here in our family. So I am trusting in faith that God is going to provide all the money to pay for those hospital bills. Why wouldn't He? He gave us this gift, surely He will provide the means to take care of Him. Still waiting for this to come to fruition, but I have faith.

3.My relationship with my mother. Some of you know and some don't that I don't get along with my mom at all. She was severely abused as a child by her parents in every way you can imagine. Unfortunately today she is still the "victim" of what happened to her and has so many issues to many to list. This makes our relationship very strained, and crazy to say the least. But I must say my mother has never repeated the cycle of physical abuse on us, and she does so much for my children (financially).

4.Friends! I can't seem to find any friends around here. It's seems as if there are no stay at home mothers (they are a dying breed). I tried to join my local MOPS group but was turned down because there is not enough babysitting for my kids. UGH! It seems as if it's another closed door. (I must say though, my myspace friends are fabulous and there for me all the time. I just wish I had a friend here to hang out with).

5.The coming around of so many friends and family. It seems like when I was younger I was surrounded by people who were Christians including my family. Now I am not saying that it's evil to hang out with people who aren't because I would in a heartbeat. I just feel like I am the only one who still has any faith of anything related to God. So many people I know have turned away. I hope and pray that they will find their way back. I want my friends and family there with me in heaven! 1 PETER 3 v 1- 2 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. NIV

So all this was prayed about in the shower today. #1 got answered and I feel like in a way the rest did as well. I opened up my myspace profile page and the scripture verse for today just so happened to be:

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14"

I know that God is faithful. He always is and I trust that He will provide solutions and answers to all that I have been struggling with. When I was going through the worst things I have ever gone through (loosing my baby) He was there, everyday for me. He promised me a son(I had a dream that I would have a son a long time before I even had Emma. And this was big for me, because I honestly did not want a boy. But once I heard he was a boy I was thrilled and I am so glad I have him) some time ago and I was so heartbroken when I lost that baby. But guess what last Easter I lost my baby and this Easter Sunday he gave me my promised son.

I may not have answers to all my questions but the one thing I do know is that God is faithful and He always will be. He will answer me, and it may not be the answer I want but He knows His will for my life. I just need to let go and trust in that.