Liar, liar pants on fire

Not only did I not work out yesterday, I did not weigh myself this morning either! OOPS!

I did however do the 30 days shred video segment so that's good.

I decided instead of beating myself up for missing yesterday...I will gladly revel in my victory today....even though I did lie to you all. Please forgive me!

Ok now I have to attempt to sneak in a shower before Emma gets home. Will it happen? I sure hope so, because I am pretty stinky after that workout!! :)

Are you worthy of more?

The parable tells of a master who was leaving his home to travel, and before going gave his three servants different amounts of money. On returning from his travels, the master asked his servants for an account of the money given to them. The first servant reported that he was given five talents, and he had made five talents more. The master praised the servant as being good and faithful, gave him more responsibility because of his faithfulness, and invited the servant to be joyful together with him.

The second servant said that he had received two talents, and he had made two talents more. The master praised this servant in the same way as being good and faithful, giving him more responsibility and inviting the servant to be joyful together with him.

The last servant who had received one talent reported that knowing his master was a hard man, he buried his talent in the ground for safekeeping, and therefore returned the original amount to his master. The master called him a wicked and lazy servant, saying that he should have placed the money in the bank to generate interest. The master commanded that the one talent be taken away from that servant, and given to the servant with ten talents, because everyone that has much will be given more, and whoever that has a little, even the little that he has will be taken away. And the master ordered the servant to be thrown outside into the darkness where there is "weeping and gnashing of teeth."

FROM Matthew 25:14-30

I always looked at this parable as a money thing. Work hard and you get more. I never really thought it applied to other areas of life until today. A preacher by the name of Jimmy Evans enlightened me to this subject.

He asked...."Do you feel like you have a calling on your life? Do you feel like you are fulfilling that calling? Are you happy with what you ARE doing?"

He said that he was called to be a preacher at 17 though this did not come to fruition until much later in life. He said that there were many steps and a while process to bring him to where he was meant to be. That it takes time, hard work and effort to get to the goal.

I thought of this in my life. For instance my house. Why in the world would God give me more, when at times (ok alot of times) I don't take care or take pride in the one I have? Why would God give me more children if at times I am not giving 100% to them? Why would marriage be any better if I don't put forth the effort? Why do I expect to sit back and do as I will, and then grumble when things seem to fall apart?

Maybe the problem here is greed. Who wouldn't want everything for free? But as you see, from the parable that if you don't work hard at with what you have God will actually take from the poor and give to the rich (faithful). Perhaps that is where I am in my life. I have had this attitude of complacency and lethargy. I feel entitled to things just for being me...when in reality we have to work and truly do our best to receive more.

Maybe you are somewhere you never thought you would be. maybe you are stuck in a crummy place, knowing this is not what you were called to do. But sit back for just a minute and ask yourself..."am I doing my best with this?" If the answer is no, then go out there and put forth your best. Hold yourself to higher standards. Require more of yourself. This may just be a stepping stone to where God would have you to be, but in the meantime give your best where you are. You will be rewarded.

Exercise

I am determined now to loose this weight before we begin trying to conceive again next year. So make me an honest woman here! haha!

Yesterday Phil and I took Ethan for a walk while Emma was in school. We walked 2 1/2 miles!

Today I plan on doing the Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred. I am watching the View right now---my only guilty pleasure during the day---though I am ready to give it up because I am sick of listening to political fighting day in and day out!

I haven't weighed myself in a long time...I am afraid too. I will tomorrow morning before I eat so I can get an accurate picture of my weight.

Anyway, I hate exercise with a passion, but I hate being fat even more...so off my butt I go to hopefully shed some of these pounds that are stuck to my midsection.

Wish me luck!

Melt down at kindergarten.

Today was the first day I volunteered at Emma's school. What a disaster. I felt so bad. My normally happy, cheery son decided to reek havoc on the whole hour we were there. We got there and things started off normal. I was to help the kids in the different stations if they needed help. Mostly just gluing and encouraging the kids as they did their project. After the first rotation all hell broke loose. Ethan began bugging Emma as she was at one of the reading stations and one of the teachers said that Ethan could play with the blocks. So we took out the blocks. I left him to play as I helped the other kids. About 10 minutes into it, he began screaming at the top of his lungs. Nothing would calm him. He didn't want to play, he didn't want to be held....HE WANTED TO SCREAM AND CRY! I took him into the bathroom finally got him calmed down and we went on. The second rotation came up and I was able to help one of the children a little bit and the whole drama began again. Screaming, bloody murder....as loud as he could. He was upset, by what I don't know, but Ethan was upset. Now mind you there were no other children around him at the time so this shouldn't have been an issue. He just had issues with himself. Screaming crying, throwing himself on the floor kicking...all out knock out drag down! Finally Emma's sweet teacher came over and said "you can leave if you want we are wrapping up anyway." She was very sweet about it, but I know translation is "get your screaming child out of here now, because there is more bad than good coming out of all of this." So we did! 15 minutes early we get kicked out of class. Can I just tell you I have never been more embarrassed in my life. I left crying because I could not believe this was happening and I could not believe I had to leave Emma early. This is what I stay home for...so I can help out at the school.

I was contemplating going on a field trip with them next week but guess what? That is not going to happen. And it kills me cause I wish I could do these things, but I guess not.

I need a nap!

Radio Blessing

I heard something on the radio the yesterday that really struck me. Chuck Coleson was on saying that in these times that we are facing naturally there are many that are scared. He said that he was praying about the circumstances for his own life "Oh Lord protect us, and provide for us" etc. etc. Then he heard God speak to him. He said that his prayers were coming from the wrong vain. He said that he needs to be doing what he was called by God to do, and the rest would fall in place. So instead of coming before God in fear, do what you were called to do and HE will take care of the rest.

How true is that? Really that's all we can do anyway. We can be scared all we want, but in the big picture we really cannot do much to REALLY change the situation. What will be, will be. It's hard not to get caught up in it and panic. Another good piece of advice I heard was to take the negative out of your life. I did this a few weeks ago when I stopped watching the news. True, maybe I will be uninformed but all the madness that is going on in the world is adding to the madness that is happening in my own world and putting me on the verge of a break down.
Also eliminating any TV show, book, or person (at least for a little while) that is negative. Anything that would play on those emotions.

So in the midst of all the madness I am going to try to do what I was called to do. For now that is to be a mom and a wife and to do it to the best of my ability. I think I need to set aside the "self pity" and do the best I can with what I have. The rest will be added.

This little insight has helped me, and I am hoping that by passing this on it will in some way touch your life too.

Perfect Timing

Have I mentioned before that whenever life gets rough I stumble across just the perfect words at just the perfect time?

Here was a devotional today that I just happened to click on. I read them everyday for a while there, but I have been slacking lately. Today I clicked on it, and this is what it had to say:


Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Is Jesus Enough?
by Lysa TerKeurst

“That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12 (NIV)

I stopped in my tracks the other day as I was mindlessly singing a beautiful praise song. I say mindlessly not because I wasn't focusing on God. I was definitely lifting up my heart to Him. But the mindlessly part came when I realized I had no clue of the weight of the words in this song. Did I really mean what I was singing? The song said this to Jesus: "You're all I want. You're all I ever needed."

Really? Did I really mean those words? Is my Jesus enough? Ultimately the question should be: Is my relationship with Jesus in such a place that if He was truly all I had today, would I still stand and sing those powerful song lyrics?

The economy is shaky, funds are tight, prices at the gas pumps and grocery store keep rising. Am I going to let my heart be drawn into a place of worry and fear over all this instability? Or will I quiet my soul and calmly proclaim, “Jesus is my Provider and He is enough.”

Today my son Jackson, who just got his driver's license, will be driving to a friend's house to watch the football game. His friend lives less than five miles from our house. But statistics show that most car accidents happen on the roads we are most familiar with, those closest to our homes. Will I be able to smile, tell him to be careful and let him drive down our driveway with full confidence that no matter what, Jesus is enough?

I don't know what kinds of twists and turns might come during my life journey. But, I know the only way to travel with a joyful peace is to settle in my heart the answer to this question once and for all. So, today, I declare Jesus is enough. Before I even know in what way this declaration will be tested, I've made the decision to say it, believe it and settle it.

Jesus is enough.

I think this is why Proverbs 31 is my favorite portrait of a godly woman. Proverbs 31:25 reminds us, "she can laugh at the days to come.”

She was filled with such incredible joy not because life was perfect but simply because she had decided to make laughter, peace, and truth the hallmarks of her life. Proverbs 31:30 goes on to say this was a woman to be praised because she so reverenced God in the shrine of her heart. She knew without a doubt, He was - and still is - enough.

Dear Lord, Thank You that in this world we don’t have to live consumed with fear of the unknown. For You know all things. Nothing will happen to us that does not first pass through Your hands. May I find peace in Your love, which is so consuming for us that You only have our best interests in mind. Help us to believe and trust in that truth no matter what. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Why do I worry so much?

Why does it seem like the saying "when it rains, it pours" is so true in almost every area of life right now? I just feel like it's been one thing after another lately. The thing that set it off was the miscarriage and now things are breaking, and falling apart everywhere I turn. I am very much looking forward to the end!

I am sure my raging hormones have something to do with my ability to be able to tolerate these minor bumps in the road, and that right there proves my point! All these little things adding up and me being extremely hormonal. This is not a good mix.
I have gotten my cycle back now..though at this time I should not have a period since I have been taking birth control for two weeks! This means I will probably get a period twice this month...YIPEE! Do you sense the enthusiasm and joy in my voice?

This time of year always seems to be a stressful one for us. There is so much going on, so much that needs to be paid for, so much that seems to break...and every year it's the same thing. You would think by now I would be used to this mess or at least prepare myself in some way or another.

I just turned on my music cd that I bought at the Women of Faith Conference and the song "Again I say Rejoice" came on. Boy has that changed my mood in just a matter of minutes. I feel better. I forget how reminding myself of these things, can change your whole day. I have been stuck in a rut looking at the closed door. I think I need to listen to this cd every morning and leave the worrying to the only one who has the power to change things.

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:4-13