He wont' go away.

I woke up this morning and let the dogs out as I do every morning. When I opened the door there sitting on my back steps was Mr. Butterfly! I am sure some of you must be thinking he is a dead butterfly, but I assure you that he is alive and well. He just happens to like our new house.

I came back in the house to get my daughter up for school. I got her ready and we proceeded to walk to the bus stop. As I crossed the street I noticed the house (not ours a neighbors) has 3 monarch butterfly statues adhered to the outer wall. Hmmmmm. Definitely an eyebrow raiser.

When I got home I thought I would look up what butterflies represent. I am not all into believing that everything means something, but I do think that God can speak to us in unusual ways. And the fact that I keep seeing him, and now other butterflies of the same kind makes me wonder.

So here is what I found: Butterflies represent transformation- from the old, then a process of change or refinement, to the new. It is a common icon within both Christianity (symbolizing 'the old self', 'salvation', 'the new self')

Butterfly animal symbolism speaks of:

* Resurrection
* Transition
* Celebration
* Lightness
* Time
* Soul
Overwhelmingly, cultural myth and lore honor the butterfly as a symbol of transformation because of its impressive process of metamorphosis.

From egg, to larvae (caterpillar), to pupa (the chrysalis or cocoon) and from the cocoon the butterfly emerges in her unfurling glory.

What a massive amount of transition this tiny creature undergoes. Consider for a moment the kind of energy this expends. I daresay if a human were to go through this kind of change we’d freak out!

Imagine the whole of your life changing to such an extreme you are unrecognizable at the end of the transformation. Mind you, this change takes place in a short span of about a month too (that’s how long the butterfly life cycle is).

Herein lies the deepest symbolic lesson of the butterfly. She asks us to accept the changes in our lives as casually as she does. The butterfly unquestioningly embraces the chances of her environment and her body.

This unwavering acceptance of her metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith. Here the butterfly beckons us to keep our faith as we undergo transitions in our lives. She understands that our toiling, fretting and anger are useless against the turning tides of nature – she asks us to recognize the same.

Interestingly, in many cultures the butterfly is associated with the soul – further linking our animal symbolism of faith with the butterfly.

Very, very interesting.

Visitor

This guy has been hanging around the house since we moved in. Today I really stopped to notice him. He kind of took my breath away when I walked outside this morning and saw him there. I ran back inside and grabbed the camera to capture this, perhaps for the last time this year. Enjoy!

Today I am thankful

I was looking back on some of my old posts from when I started this blog. One of my main concerns back then was how we were ever going to be able to pay off the birth of Ethan. We had a good $5000 in medical bills, and then our insurance changed so we had probably another $1000 on top of that for his trip to the E.R. when he burned his hand, and some routine visits. This was a huge burden for us and had no idea how we would pay it off.

I firmly believe though, if God has bless you with children he will provide for their needs. He promises this to us in His word.

I am happy to say that yesterday I paid off the last $63. Thank God! It took 2 yrs, but we have chugged away at it and little by little the debt began to shrink! Somehow, the money was provided and we had enough!

Thanks to God who always provides and for the sweet reminder that we should trust in Him. In may not happen in our time, but He does promise to provide our needs. Our biggest one being the sale of our house right now...so I trust that He will work that out for us as well.

Crazy life

We have been here for almost 2 weeks now. Things are still pretty crazy. I have no car because we only have one at the moment and Phil takes it to work each day so I am house bound for now. He is trying to work a deal where he trades his 4-wheeler for a vehicle and there may be a very good prospect on Saturday. It will be nice to have 2 vehicles again. Plus we have put a million miles on the the new car so it's time to give it a rest.

In other news, the price of our house dropped $5,000 today. We were told to lower it after 2 weeks and it's been two weeks. In some ways I am relived. I am hoping it will bring in more traffic and fast. If we get asking price at this time we will still owe some money on the house, but not an extravagant amount. I just pray that we don't have to drop the price again...that someone will bite now that it's been lowered. This is my biggest concern at this point. Trying to maintain two homes all while taking a temporary cut in pay because Phil cannot work overtime yet since he does not know how to do much yet. Again, I am not good with the whole wait upon the Lord thing. I am probably one of the least patient people in the world.
It's funny to me how to this point God has provided everything for us. He made this job fall into our laps in this kind of economy and also provided above and beyond what the job was even offering at the time. I know that He will send a buyer for our house it's just hard not to doubt. Why is that? Is there ever a point in your walk where you don't worry about these things and trust whole heartedly? I keep apologizing for my doubts and fears, but if we are being honest then that's what I feel.

In some ways I feel like an insatiable little kid. Thank you daddy for this, but now I need that. But then I think selling the house is all part of this package and He did provide all of this for us so why wouldn't He send a buyer? It's so frustrating to be human :-)

Please keep us in your prayers. We can only pay for both homes for so long before we have to let one go and it's not our intention to ruin credit etc over all this. We simply just want a buyer and if we owe some money so be it as along as we can sell the house.

Emma is back in school now. I kind of feel bad for her. I feel guilty like maybe I made the wrong decision about putting her in school. She came home yesterday and she was crying. She is very overwhelmed and it very well could just be the teacher but it still makes me feel guilty. On greatschools.com her old school rated as a 5 star our of 10. This school is a 7 out of 10 so academically it is better, but at what cost?

She gets on the bus an hour later so this is good. She starts school at 8:50. There are a few things I don't like. 1. there is no snack for the kids. The school is so small that they all eat lunch together at the same time, but only kindergarten gets to have snack. 2. There is no recess, or playtime. They don't have a playground so they can't go out to play. They also have no playtime in school at all. It's one subject after another for 6 hours. Now don't get me wrong they have gym, and art, and music etc. But why so much learning? They are kids. Give them a break. I think they need to enjoy being children. Not to mention coming home with homework a few nights a weeks, plus a spelling test every Friday (she has never had a test before until this school).
Her teacher is nice, but not very clear on what the kids are to do. She sends home papers with no instruction and I am not sure if she wants them back, or what I am to do with them. I guess she is like that in class as well. She just assumes the kids know what to do. Emma is not used to this curriculum and does not know what to do alot of the times and gets frustrated. I don't want her to hate school. At what point do you draw the line and say we are past the normal adjustment phase and make changes? She has only been in school for 4 days and I know it's going to be overwhelming but if something doesn't change in the next few weeks something on our end WILL have to change.

Ethan is doing well. He has adjusted good so far. It's so cute seeing both kids light up when Phil walks through the door at night. Ethan screams and almost passes out he gets so excited. On the other hand it's heartbreaking to see all the time they missed out on. Phil has been traveling for 5 yrs now and unfortunately missed so much. Another reason I am so thankful for this new job and praying that our house will sell soon.
Ethan is in his toddler bed now. He is so cute and so different then Emma. Emma never ever stayed in her bed. We would have to put her back to bed 10-15 times a night. In fact...she still doesn't stay in bed. Last night I said good night and she was up 5 minutes later. haha! WOW they are different. It hasn't even crossed Ethan's mind that he can indeed get up. In fact he lays there in the morning and calls for me because I guess he thinks he can't get up. I think we'll keep it that way! lol! It's been 5 nights now though and he has slept and napped all without getting up. So fingers crossed!

In other news I majorly have the baby bug. Huge, strong desire to have another baby but at the same time afraid. Again the whole house thing, and then my history of loosing babies. It's hard to even say or think about but what if I do loose another. I have been through this twice it's just so nerve wracking and a bit embarrassing at this point. Why does my body keep doing this to me? I will say that we aren't actively trying but we aren't preventing either so whatever God for us will be the right thing. We aren't really telling people either. I know I just said it here, but most of our family don't read this so it's actually a safe place to fess up. After a situation that happened last time when family members took it upon themselves to tell everyone I was prego it will be secret for quite some time this time if God chooses to bless us again. I don't want others telling my news first of all, and secondly I want to be sure all it ok this time around (if I do get pregnant) before I announce it. I was so embarrassed last time when I told everyone and naively thought that everything would be ok because I had already lost one baby. Then I had to go back and tell them yet again that I lost another baby. It was embarrassing (I know it wasn't my fault but that's how I felt) and heartbreaking. I just can't go through that publicly again.

Well I need to get up and do some more unpacking. Just wanted to update since I haven't been on in a while. Please keep us in your prayers for our lives in general but especially for the sale of our house. I have seen God come through in so many situations that have seemed impossible so I know there is hope. It just helps to have people interceding for us.

We're here!

We have made it to West Virginia! It's been a hectic two weeks.

Phil accepted the job on a Wednesday and we left that next day for Massachusetts for my sisters wedding. We got back to NY on Sunday and began putting the last touches on our house so that it was ready to sell. $500 later and it's on the market. That whole week was constant trips to home depot and lowes and one project after another. The next week we pulled Emma out of school for two days and came down here to find a home. We ran around like mad men one house after another each one seemed like a dud. Then we narrowed it down to two. Except the one house was waiting for another couple's answer on whether or not they wanted it. We decided we needed a home and couldn't wait any longer. We took the other home and put a $400 deposit on it. Great! Then the day before we were supposed to come down here guy from house number 2 (the better house by far) and says that they couple backed out so if we wanted it then we could have it. We felt it was best to do what was best for us though it would be an uncomfortable situation and we backed out of the first house and took the second. Needless to say we lost $400 because he will not give our deposit back.

So here we are at house number 2. We got here Sunday, but because the house was vacant we had no water or no heat. We went down Monday to get that all settled and they said they could not turn it on until Tuesday. Not ideal, but still really fast.

Tuesday morning they were here bright and early. They turned on the water, but there were leaks. It would not stop coming out of the bathroom sink. We called the landlord and he came over and looked at it. They got us a new faucet and vanity along with a few other things and then were on their way. Later that evening we went to take a shower...except the faucets are from the 70's and the bath comes on but not the shower. Then we see the toilet is leaking. Call landlord. Calls us back and comes over Wednesday to take a look. His plumbing guys are not available until next week so we have NO SHOWER. Gross!

In between all this we got phone, internet, cable set up. Got Emma enrolled in school, bought a refrigerator, went to pick up refrigerator the next day, went a half food shopping and spent way to much money, and tried to unpack and clean a little.

Did I mention that we did not bring hardly any of our furniture? The realtor wants it to be staged so that it will sell quicker. So we are all sleeping on air mattresses. We have two chairs to sit on in the living room and we had to buy a new dining room table because the one I just bought a year ago is to big for this house. Oh yah and I am moody and exhausted. And we still don't know how we are going to pull off having two houses. Not to mention they we are country people. I am not used to living in a neighborhood where people can see in your windows....we had to buy curtains too. I don't have curtains in my house in NY. Can you say stress? I just lost it last night. We had chicken nuggets for dinner and they started to burn and I just started crying. I am tired, sick, and stressed to the max. I felt guilty for the stress I am putting Emma under starting a new school etc. I worry about money, about our house selling, about living in a neighborhood when we are used to having a house where the kids can run and roam along with the animals.

Needless to say though I didn't have to many ties to NY I am a bit homesick. It would have been easier to stay. But taking the easy path doesn't always get you places in life. You have to take chances sometimes. It just scares the pants off me. Part of me knows this is God's will with all the signs I have gotten but then I look at the physical (like our house in NY and how it needs to sell fast so we don't owe to much) and I get so overwhelmed and feel like it's impossible. The doors have opened for us one by one this whole journey and often last minute so I shouldn't doubt that God will bring the right person to buy our home. I still worry though. I am trying to cast in all on Him and then I feel guilty for doing that. Like He has given us so much and I am selfish to be asking for this one more thing. So please if you read this, please keep us in your prayers. Please pray God sends a buyer to buy our house quickly and if we owe money that He provide the funds.

I can use all the help I can get :)

Things just seemed to be TO perfect

Here we are one week before Phil is supposed to start his new job. And guess what? We don't have a new place to live. Where we are moving there aren't a lot of homes....that part of WV is only 15 sq miles across. The housing there is so cheap that people don't rent they just buy. Only problem is we can't buy. We can't qualify to carry two houses at the same time.
Most people who do rent out there don't want pets either. Which is a major problem we have 2 dogs and a cat. UGH!

Another issue....our house here. We owe quite a bit on it since we haven't been here for very long (almost 4 yrs). Our realtor is worried about what we are selling it for. She thinks we will have to drop the price in 2 weeks or so. Which would leave us having to come up with money to pay it off.

Please pray for us. Our situation seems impossible at the moment. We have to find a new place to live and somehow sell this house. We aren't looking to break even....we never will with all the money we have put into this place, new carpet, new pergo in living room, new wood stove ($5000) all the appliances we bought....and the list goes on and on.

All we want is to be able to sell it. So we need some major prayers coming our way. We either need to get two people who love the house in here this week. They would need to make competing offers so that we could have enough to pay off the mortgage, pay our realtor fees, and pay the taxes. OR we would pray for one buyer quickly and that God provide the additional funds needed to pay off the house. Either way we are stuck right now and it's a scary feeling. We just need a buyer. The house goes up for sale on Monday so please pray for us. What seems impossible to us IS very possible to God.

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

God is Amazing!

As many of you know we have been waiting for an offer to come in from the company in West Virginia. I have been a little nervous that this has been taking so long and I was worried about how we would be able to move pay for rent/pay for our house/sell our house etc. My dad said he could no longer help us and it really worried me as we didn't have the means to do this on our own. We were told this job offered no relocation package and we were hoping to at least negotiate a u-haul to help us move.

Last week I was listening to Chip Ingram and he was talking about making marriage work. When troubles arise we are to run to our spouse and not others including mom and dad. He said "if you need money, don't go to mom and dad run to your spouse. Pray about it. This allows God to show up in a BIG way." I began feeling peace about my dad not being able to help us and I wasn't quite sure how we would do it once the offer came in but I knew it would work itself out. I turned to God and prayed that all these details would work out. He was in control, He knew our needs, He says he supplies our needs so I had asked and now it was up to Him.

Then the offer came in. Can I just say how absolutely above and beyond God answered my prayer. He DID show up and show off. It's beyond what I thought!

They told Phil there was a certain salary range. They gave him the highest salary in that range to start. They said that they would send in movers to pack us, and move us. They would pay for a trailer to tow behind our car for incidentals. They have a program through the company where they will do all the work in selling our house, and pay all taxes associated with the sale. They are offering rental assistance and will give us ALL or most of what it will cost for us to rent a home until our house sells. They will pay for all our costs associated with moving. They are giving us a sign on bonus type thing where we will get 1 months worth of salary to help our transition. Phil will be home EVERY, SINGLE NIGHT! Praise God. His hours are 7-3 with PAID overtime! They want him to start October 5th. Our goal is to be in our new house October 1st. Lots to do between now and then!

Can I just say how grateful I am to God. How amazing He is! We could not have done this on our own...there was just no way. God provided.

Do Not Worry

Matthew 6:25-34
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The way this is said in the Bible God makes it sound so easy. I will give you clothes, I will give you shelter and food. Don't worry. These things are easy for Him. Theses thing cause so much stress in our lives and God knows our needs. God promises to supply.

Is there a situation in your life where you are waiting for God to show up? Are you making alternate solutions for your life like Sarah did? We need to think like God. The answer doesn't seem simple to us. We worry because we don't know what the future holds. But God doesn't. He knows the future and before we even ask he has the solution. We just need a little more faith. It's not easy to do all the time, I know that. Step back from the situation your dealing with and let God take over. He will come through.

Thank you God for showing up in a big way. For giving me more then I deserve. All of my stress with this move has melted away and I am so grateful to you for all of this! Praise God....all the glory goes to Him.