Nostaligia

So I was looking back at pics today of my kids because I can't believe how old they are already! Here is a pic of Emma holding Ethan soon after he was born.



And here is one of her holding him today!





What a difference two years makes!

They grow up so fast!!!!!

Phil and I are going on a trip next month! We are flying my sister Ashley out here to watch the kiddos and we are packing up and going to Tennessee! Strange right? haha!

First of all this will be a great trip since Phil and I have not gone away ALONE together since Emma was about 3yrs old. This is long over due. We can sleep in and not worry about little kids...we can go out to eat without wiping faces, and running to the potty, and changing stinky diapers! I cannot wait until Ethan is potty trained..then I won't be the only one making potty runs!!!

Secondly we are adding a new member to our family. NO I am not pregnant! As many of you know we have to put Haley down. This is getting harder and harder for Phil to deal with he is even suggesting that we don't do it. He is in total denial at this point. He is even suggesting that we don't put her down at all. Which can't be a reality. We can't have her biting. He tried to bring her to a shelter but they said the same thing. "They can't take a dog that bites anyone, never mind someone they have grown up with." This is going to be so hard on him and we still haven't decided when to do it.

I read up on how they put a dog to sleep and I feel sad that we have to do it, but at peace at the same time since it seems like it is rather easy on the animal. Anyway, Emma is going to be a mess (she cries now at the thought of finding her a new home) and so isn't Phil. One of they ways they suggest "dealing" with the loss, is to get a new puppy. So crazy us....this is what we are doing.

***Side note...why is it that kids decide to poop in their diaper right after you have changed them? I don't understand? I just changed his diaper and now he STINKS! YUCK!***

We still will have Gracie our pomapoo. We don't want another lab....too painful I think. Then it will really seem as if we are replacing Haley for the new dog. So Phil picked out a Brittany Spaniel. He has wanted one for a long time, but I think two dogs is enough! Now that we will only have one, I gave in. This dog is hunting dog which Phil loves, and it will help Emma deal with the loss of Haley.

Here is a picture of what one looks like.



Ours is a boy and his name is Cooper.

The best part is that he is with a breeder in Tennessee!! Phil was originally gonna take his free plane ticket and go fly there and drive home with his free car rental days. Instead, we decided to fly Ashley out here with our free plane ticket, have her stay with the kids and the two of us go on a road trip to get him with our free car rental days!!! We also have credit card points that will pay for ALL of our gas for the trip. The only thing we have to pay for is hotels! Which are very cheap in Tennessee. Phil says I am going to want to move there once I see it. I am up for it, to be completely honest. I would love to be in warmer weather year round. I don't want somewhere that gets so hot you can't breathe, but Tennessee does seem like it has "ideal" weather. It gets up to around 87 degrees in the summer, and 50-60's in the winter! Sign me up! Plus it would help my circulation problems as well. What a relief to not be in constant pain in the winter.

E-man's second haircut!!!

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I love him!

Sad news

Haley is getting worse and worse. She bit again. We brought her to the vet and he said that it would be best if we put her out of her misery and put her down.

I am tearing up just thinking about it. We know this is the right thing to do, yet it's still hard.

I have had my issues with her, and I may act like I don't like her sometimes but I am a big softy. I will be balling my eyes out when we have to do it.

I stayed up with her all night when she hurt her leg to be sure she was ok. I am the one who cares for her everyday. I do love her, even if she's a pain sometimes.

I wish there was another way, but the boy is more important than the dog. Emma would disagree i am sure! When we told her we were looking for a new home for Haley she asked if we could just find Ethan a new home! haha!

This will be hard on all of us. We all tear up thinking about it. Part of you feels guilty for essentially killing your dog, but what can we do. We can't give her to another family when she is becoming so aggressive. She is biting our little dog Gracie now too. She can't do the things she loves (run, swim, play, jump, fetch a ball) she can barely walk for crying out loud.

You still feel guilt though. It's going to be a sad day when we say goodbye.

Ugh...now I am crying...I hate this.

Could I be the mule?

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

~ Romans 12:12, NLT

Delivered this morning. So that's what I will do...keep on praying.

I have to admit I am having some growing pains here. I like the fact the Phil is around more. It's nice to not have to get up in the middle of the night to stoke the fire. It's nice to wake up with someone in the mornings. It's nice to have him bring Emma to the bus stop on freezing cold mornings. It's nice that the kids are enjoying daddy more than ever!!!

It's not so nice, that I am used to running the show and now there is another adult who has an opinion about things! Don't get me wrong, this is good, this is how it should be. It's just...I guess I feel like we are in the Navy again. You know how it is, when you get used to doing things a certain way....I mean your way..and then your hubby gets home from being out to sea and at first it's all hearts and stars in your eyes. Then after about 2 days...you start butting heads. I mean really butting heads. For 4 years life has been like this, and generally I could do things the way I wanted. BUT NOW.....I have to be submissive sometimes. I have to take direction. I AM NOT always right! YIKES! Someone has been knocked off her throne! Remember I said he was stubborn, but so am I. And I like to get my way. But then again, who doesn't?

I also have to remember to be gracious at times and make my man feel like a man. For instance, I can haul wood in the house...no problem. In the past I have had no choice I had to do it. Now he's here to do it. I will go and get wood and stoke the fire and he's like "why didn't you tell me? I can do that." DUH! What am I doing?

So I have to realize to back down every once and a while, and maybe even play maiden in distress. Because whether they admit to it or not...men love to come to a woman's rescue...even if it is just stoking a fire!

A New Day

Joyful are those who listen to me, watching for me daily at my gates, waiting for me outside my home! Proverbs 8:34 NLT

Today I woke up and after the initial feeling of "just 5 more minutes" wore off, I was quite happy. I got Emma ready for school and walked her to the bus stop. And guess what, today at 7:10 am the sun was out! It was such a nice change to walk to the end of the driveway (we have a very long driveway) and see the sun. It's been months since it was light out when she left for school. Oh yah and did I mention it was warm? Well ok you got me, it's not really warm but 21 degrees feels like Florida after it's been zero for 3 weeks!

I know I probably sound like the biggest nut job in the world but all the world seems right today. And I don't know why, I just have peace, I am happy and the sun is shining what more could you want?

Now for something that happened this weekend. A couple of years ago our Lab Haley hurt her back leg. There is not much we can do for it unless we want to spend $4000 + on a hip replacement. I am sorry I love our dogs, but we just cannot spend $4000 to fix her. That may sound awful, but she is just a dog. Anyway, so she has always been protective of her leg....understandable. It does cause her pain and we try to help her out by giving her Aspirin on days it gets bad.
A couple of weeks ago Ethan stepped on her back leg by accident and Haley freaked out and growled. Now every time Ethan goes near her she growls and snaps at him. It's gotten to the point where we cannot trust them alone. Those of you who have little boys understand that they are rough with animals. This is just the way it is. And Ethan thinks it's funny when she growls so he tries to provoke it out of her.
Unfortunately, things went to far yesterday. Phil was upstairs with Ethan and Haley and went to Ethan's room to get something. Just as he did that Ethan walked to close to Haley and she growled. Just as she growled Phil yelled for her to stop and she flung around and bit Ethan in the head. Nothing major, but she did break the skin and there was blood.
Now Phil has made one of the hardest decisions of his life. We need to find a new home for Haley. It kills him to have to do this, but we either have to keep Haley locked up while Ethan is awake or visa versa. This is no life for either animal...lol! He feels guilty cause he was already in the process of purchasing another dog (a hunting dog, as Haley is a whimp and runs from the gun) and he feels like he is replacing her.
She is still a great dog. She just turned 5, is up to date on all her shots, she is still active, just not as active as she used to be because of her leg. She cannot walk more than 2 miles without being in pain. We feel really bad because we love her and there are no issues with any other family member and her (she has NEVER bitten before) it's just that she feels threatened when Ethan gets around her and she does what any normal animal would do to protect itself.
This is just not going to work out with Ethan being so little and we know we want more kids so it's just not fair to her. Anyway, hopefully we will find someone who either has older kids (6 and up), or no kids who would be willing to give her a good home. Who would love her. We don't want to give her to a shelter because we know that they will probably kill her. We are just praying that we find something soon, before something worse happens. Until then I am like a hawk watching both of them so closely. And if I can't be around, Haley gets locked up :(

My encouraging word for Saturday

I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

~ Isaiah 65:24, NLT

God is good. Phil just talked to his work and they said because he has no salesman that they would put him on a guaranteed commission for 6 months. That means he will make at least that amount, and if he gets a salesman and they happen to sell something he will also earn that on top of the guarantee. It's not a lot of money, but it will allow us to get by. We still have the $500 pay cut every month from the mandatory unpaid day off each pay period but that's ok.

We canceled our home phone and also downgraded to the lowest cable possible saving ourselves $70 a month. There really are no other bills we can cut back on except for food so I am trying to do my best to pinch every penny while food shopping.

I was praying about this and the thought popped into my head that this WAS indeed an answer to my prayer. You see, I have been really stressed out doing all of this child rearing pretty much on my own. I had been praying for some help because I did not know how much longer I could continue this way before I lost my mind. Phil was gone 5 days a week, it really put stress on all of us. Now that things are slowing down he is around more. In fact he was here everyday last week except for Friday. I really can't complain about that. I asked for help...so what am I complaining about? It's just not the way I thought my prayer would be answered.

So today, I am thankful for answered prayer. I am thankful that God knows what He is doing in our lives. He knows what's best for us, even when we think WE do. He is answering my prayers in unexpected ways, but answering none the less...and I believe He will take care of us no matter what. It's hard to see that all the time...I am human afterall. :) I am just glad it dawned on me sooner than later.