High needs baby gets a routine

I am really starting the get the hang of this whole baby thing again. Ethan is starting to get into somewhat of a schedule and though he is still fussy I know what his routine is for now and I know that I can expect a break. I took him for his 2 month check up on June 9th and on June 8th he surprised me and slept from 6pm until 2am. I thought this was a fluke thing, but he has been continuing this pattern for about a week now. He may not neccesarily fall asleep right at 6 but it's usually somewhere between 6 and 7 and he will sleep until 2 or 3 am. Now if only I could go to bed at 6pm, but hey I am not complaining. It took Emma 4 months to sleep that long in one shot so I'll take what I can get. So he goes to bed between 6 and 7 gets up to eat at 2 or 3 then sleeps to about 5 or 6 and gets up to eat again. Then fussy time begins. Basically my whole morning is shot because he needs to be held and paid attention to. He eats again between 8 and 9 and is awake until about 11 am when he eats again and goes to sleep. He sleeps a good 3 hours at this nap, maybe more I never really counted because I thought for sure this routine would not continue. Anyway he is up by 3 and then eats and fusses some more until about 6 when he eats again and then is down for the night...well until 2am!

But you know what? Knowing this schedule actually makes the fussiness a little more bearable. Now I know that my mornings are shot and I shouldn't even try to get things done because I need to hold him....and that's okay because I know I can catch up when he is down for his nap. I was reading a little bit about the colic and it seems to be clearing up slowly, we don't have AS many issues after feedings, but I also came across an article about "high needs" babies. And though he is not totally out of control he is definately more high needs then Emma was. The 12 signs of a high needs baby are 1. being intense 2. hyperactive (hating to be swaddled always moving etc.) 3. Draining 4. Feeds frequently 5. Demanding 6. Awakens frequently 7. Unsatisfied 8. Unpredictable 9. Super sensitive 10. Can't put baby down 11. Not a self soother 12. Separation Sensitive.

Ethan is numbers 1, 2, 3, 5, 10, & 11 Not sure about #12 until he is a bit older but I think we may have a problem with it because he likes me SO much. So he has about half of the symptoms. But reading about parents with high needs children and how they have grown up made me put some things into perspective. For instance Being Intense or Driven as they like to call it....."The same drive that gets your toddler into trouble also leads him to a level of creativity toward which other children may not venture. Your job is to help him drive more carefully and on roads that he can handle." Drive is very important in an adult, especially a male, and especially if he believes as Phil and I do and he becomes the sole bread winner for the family.....Being driven, though difficult now, is really a great quality to have.

2.Hyperactive---Ethan hates to be swaddled and moved so much inside me and still does to this day. "These motor traits are part of the baby's personality. They may be hard to live with at times, but this restlessness is not necessarily a negative trait. Some highly creative, world-changing people were at one time or another labeled hyperactive as a child."

3.Draining---boy is this true this little guy sucks the life out of me at times "Many mothers seem to have an internal energy gauge that magically brings in more fuel just as the tank nears empty. There will be days of incessant holding with no breaks. But just when you feel you can't cope with another day of giving, you get a second wind, and suddenly you can relax and enjoy your baby's unique personality blooming. It's as if baby senses mother's breaking point and backs off a bit. There probably won't be any days off, but some days will be less difficult than others." Saturday was just this for me....but I have my second wind.

4. Demanding---this child seems as if he can't wait for anything. He wakes up starving and wants food now....forget about even getting a clean diaper on him--if he wants to be held he cries until he gets that as well. This seemed to be very annoying until I read this "Being demanding is the trait of high need children that is most likely to drive parents bananas, but it is also the trait that drives children to succeed and excel. A high need child with a corresponding demanding personality will, if nurtured and channeled appropriately during the formative years, exhaust teachers as she did her parents; yet she will also be able to extract from adult resources, such as teachers, the level of help and education she will need to thrive in academic and social endeavors. This is why it is so important not to squelch an infant's expressiveness. The ability to know one's needs and be able to comfortably express them is a valuable tool for success in life." What a great tool he has already. He is decisive...he knows what he wants...he communicates it to us clearly and really he will not settle. Though this can cause heads to butt at times this is clearly a great trait to have as adult as well.

5. Can't put Baby down--Yes, yes, and yes. The child loves me. He even sleeps on my chest at night. "High need babies crave touch: skin-to-skin contact in your arms, at your breasts, in your bed. They extract whatever physical contact they can from their caregivers. They also crave motion. Holding is not enough; the holder must keep moving. If the holder wants to sit down, it had better be on something that rocks, glides, or swings. This constant holding may be particularly difficult for new parents who expected to have the magazine model baby, the one who lies quietly in the crib gazing at expensive mobiles. This is not the play profile of the high need baby. Parents' arms and bodies are his crib; mother's breasts are his pacifier, and a bouncing lap is his chair. Most high need babies choose to upgrade their accommodations from the crib or playpen to the baby sling. They like to be worn many hours a day because they like the physical contact and they like to be up where the action is. Smart babies." I ordered a sling and can not wait until it arrives!!

6.Not a self soother--Though Ethan likes pacifiers he likes for us to hold him and hold it in his mouth for him. Ethan is not a baby to just "cry it out" He will scream, and scream, and scream until you pick him up. The screams don't fade, they get louder and more intense and at times he has even made himself puke......I am so not looking forward to toddler years with him...God please help me! "The quality of wanting people instead of things as pacifiers, while initially exhausting, will eventually work to the child's advantage. The child will have a better grasp on interpersonal relationships, especially being comfortable with the quality of intimacy."

So if I take all this into account alot of these traits aren't so bad to have afterall. They just need some guidance and moulding for the traits to be used for good, and not against him. Cause really every trait can be good or bad depending on how it's nutured. I am hoping that I can meet all of his needs now and properly direct these personality traits for good!