Freaking out....just a little bit

We got a call last night from Phil's boss. Phil's salesman quit. This wouldn't be as big of a deal if the salesman had just quit, but he quit and is going to a competitors company to sell for them. His territory is New England and New York...the same territory we are in now. So not only are we loosing probably 1/3 of our pay because we no longer have a salesman, if he does get a new one it will be hard for him to sell. You see the one that just quit is a fabulous salesman. In NY alone Phil's company sells 8 machines a month to customers....the competitor sells 20 a month in NY. This means that the salesman will probably be stealing the 8 that we do have. Which means we are double screwed. I hope this all makes sense. It makes sense to me, but I feel like I am not that clear sometimes.

Phil is still looking for a job but we have not heard back from anyone. I don't know what we will do. This is a real test of our faith. We need that extra money every month to pay our bills.

When he first told me I was shocked but ok with it. Now this morning I am freaking out. Apparently I was making all kinds of noises in my sleep, Phil asked if I had a bad dream. Today I feel very anxious about all of it.

I want to get past this point and be able to trust and have faith. I am not so sure I am good at that when it comes to money!

Well I have to go get ready for MOPS now. Just thought I would update on our turbulent life. I guess worse comes to worse we loose it all and have to start over. That's really not so bad...I just worry mostly about feeding and clothing my kids. Plus it is kind of embarrassing to have to admit to loosing everything. Hopefully it won't come to that...but who knows. Only God.