September 1....Holy Smokes!

Yesterday evening was interesting. I was out of diapers and wipe and desperately needed to make a run to BJ's. So Phil and I packed up the kiddos and drove out to the store. While doing our shopping who do we run into but my OB/GYN! How awkward. Phil said hi, and he said hi back but I don't think he really recognized us. He passed me again in a different aisle and did a double take so I think he then realized who I was, but felt dumb saying anything at that point. But then I felt very uncomfortable as well....this is a man who looks up my "you know what". It's not someone to make casual conversation with! haha! Though I know he does it for a living and it was not what he was thinking about but that's all that was going through my mind!

Phil so kindly went and got me a bottle of Kahlua to make my favorite drink last night, since I could indeed drink again.

We came home gave the kids dinner and put them to bed.

We then proceeded to have steak dinner with homemade french fries and Smirnoff Ice, and Kahlua Sombrero's. It was a little slice of heaven in all the madness! Of course truth be told...the steak was awful, so chewy, so fatty, but it was still nice to be just the two of us!

Then when I wanted to go to bed Ethan woke up.
I held him for a little while, but then I just couldn't do it anymore. He was so tired and so restless and so was I. I needed to put him down and let him cry himself to sleep. And that's what he did. Don't get me wrong...he wasn't screaming, just whining a bit, and he finally lulled himself to sleep.

I drifted off to dreamland with no problems, but had such strange dreams. Now I only had 1 1/2 drinks so I don't think it was from that. I had weird dreams after I lost the other baby so it's quite normal for all the stress to just come out while I am relaxed.

I dreamnt I was with my family and for some reason I went for a walk on my own down these dark streets. Then all of a sudden I was being chased by a bad guy and trying to get away in elevators. We went on like this for a while. Me trying to escape this evil person chasing me.

Last time I lost a baby my dreams were so vivid I would wake up and literally could not breathe. Scary! At least this time they are more mild!

So interesting fact. I read that 1 in 36 women have 2 miscarriages for no reason other than back luck! So am I lucky to have those odds or not? haha!

I have at least 6 weeks before my cycle comes back after I stop bleeding. I am still bleeding so it's gonna be a while.

Good news....No period for 6 weeks!

Also once Emma starts school full time, mama is starting the 30 day shred again. I am going to see if I can get my weight down a bit before trying again. Silly I know, because if I get a viable pregnancy I will prob loose weight anyway but i still want to get in shape a little more.

That's whats up here. Hopefully each day will be better than the last. Today I feel good, and actually laughed a little. Life goes on and I will be ok!